She's been murdered.

good username comment synergy.

I felt like I was reading one of those "liek dis if u cry evrytim" stories on Facebook

Let's be honest, brother's fault for not seeing how this could go wrong.

wait, what? You were planning on asking your girlfriend on a date by leaving 100 cahin saws around her house, and then her grandmother ate them all?

"and the following spring baseball season, her brother opted for lacrosse." I read that as him being pissed he didn't get to fuck the brother either.

I want to see that happen so bad. You know that guy would would put on a better performance than half the nominees. "Stop everything, this man has LIED to you all!!!" (crowd gasps in shock)

That poop story is the Empire Strikes Back of poop stories.

The Eat the Ball site has "3D Shape!" as a descriptive term.

Seriously, the e-mail of the week was an emotional roller coaster.

I got ball bread once when my girl had a yeast infection.. no bueno.

Actually, from a quick Google, this event raised 8x more than the second largest college philanthropist group in the country in 2012. I am not sure about the sports culture at Penn State, but it does seem like accusing 18 year old kids of enabling a pedophile seems like a stretch.

ESPN wisely didn't tell him to "hit the showers" for a week.

"Thomas may still have good friends on the Suns, but it still couldn't have felt good being traded from a playoff contender to a lottery contender just half a season into a four year deal."

"I wanted to marry you or have you adopt me"

Always highlight truthers.

Schedule doesn't mean piddly when you're playing in a spread offense.

No. If Jeffrey Dahmer had had good hands and could run a 4.4 forty, his issues would have been called an eating disorder.

I, for oneone, will never let the truth stand in the way of an easy punch line.

Hey, what's the creepiest quote you could imagine from a man accused of rape?