“I didn’t want to be alive anymore when all this happened. Shame like I had never experienced before—the kind of shame that you forget how to breathe. You don’t know where to go. You can’t go outside and get like, a taco.” Oh. How difficult for him.

This is looking really, really bad for Wilde. Shia actually had texts and a whole damn video of Wilde expressing regret over Shia leaving the project. She could’ve simply said he parted ways over creative differences but she wanted feminist points.

Olivia Wilde is really not great at this whole “personal accountability” thing.

Michelle Branch physically assaults her husband but is instantly forgiven for any wrongdoing because he cheated on her. He’s painted as a lifelong piece of shit in every capacity Jez can shoehorn into the story.

But Wilde is a beautiful woman who fired someone to get fucked on set so of course Jezebel is going to drag Labeouf as much as they can in the article. You people are disgusting, you are just as sexist as most men.

Styles: I just wanted to have sex with a hottie. What is even happening?

So the vibe I’m gathering here is as follows:

We need the planes from the 5th Element. Everyone just gets knocked unconscious for the flight.

So that’s why he’s called Winnie the Pooh.

TikTok: The worst thing the Internet has produced since Twitter.

OH BOY! NOW I GET TO REBUY THE GAME THAT I ALREADY OWN!!!!

They shouldn’t have been chasing waterfalls.

That was dam close. 

I love how the article tries to insinuate that it was terrible that she took a week to respond to this manufactured controversy. Y’all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Surprised you didn’t put the puns in the title.

So would you say this has caused the franchise owners to go into full...meltdown?

They are grenades and you cannot convince me other wise.  I call them baby boomers.

Those jerks tried to circle him looking all hard, but his vigorous pumping and spraying all over the place got them off as fast as possible.

Obligatory.

So it drew a dick, then got stuck in the mouth of the Suez and there aren’t enough seamen with enough thrust to push it out. And the longer it’s in there, the more screwed we are...