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Spanish hockey commentary is even funnier than disinterested Russian NFL commentary.

I take it you’ve never been in a fistfight.

All these descriptors are generally used on monkeys, dogs, or dolphins, so maybe that’s the reason? “Highly intelligent” is what I call my puppy when he realizes he should go outside.

Shouldn’t we be happy they’re referring to rapists as they would primates?

I’m more ok with this in civil cases than I am criminal. If it were a criminal case this’d be fucked, in this instance it’s way more ambiguous IMO.

Paddy’s Lament!

I know the Giants have had the most interceptions off of their own receivers hands for several years running but this is ridiculous.

Everyone asked if I was annoyed or hurt that my first girlfriend broke up with me to be with a girl and my response was “I literally can’t think of a better reason to break up with someone. When she said it wasn’t me, it was her, she really meant it. I wouldn’t date a guy, would I?” They were super disappointed cause

Well Wambach will score on you cause she scores on every goalie...

Eh, the minor league system is pretty fucked up as far as salaries -- they’re not paid even close to a living wage and many are literally starving and end up sleeping on floors. The testimonials are horrifying. MLB players get more meal money in a day than many minor leaguers spend on food in a week.

End public university funding of athletics and if you’re an alumnae of a D1 school pressure it to switch its program to D3.

Yup, the NBA and the NFL have this awesome feeder league that they pay jack shit for. If they want it to keep on existing, they can pay for it, or just let the free market do the work and see which independent franchises can sink or swim.

Get rid of D1 NCAA sports and turn the profitable ones into private franchises that pay the schools for licensing rights. End the exploitation of athletes under the charade of “amateurism,” and make universities focus on what they should be focused on -- education.

He’s actually been incredible touring with Dead & Co the last couple years. By far their best lead guitarist since Jerry died. Makes it obvious just how Trey Anastisio was phoning it in.

Those were shrapnel bombs. The fact no one was killed is sheer luck.

Yup, it’s insanely creepy. Don’t care if she’s a funny lady -- can you imagine Louis C.K. saying Emma Stone should bang him?

“I think they should have sex with me instead” is an insanely creepy sentiment coming from anyone.

That would make an excellent picture book.

Um, pretty much all early Zionists were atheists and all religious people were anti Zionist until the 50s and 60s...

The amount of coded racism here is unbelievable. Every comment is a play on “Derrick rose is an idiot/ too stupid to understand what consent means so he’s probably guilty.” Is every black man a neanderthal to you? Does no one here know any of the history surrounding black men and rape allegations?