Manager Scott Bakula can get Timmy back on track.

His goals actually have some nice pedigree. Spain, Germany, Mexico, Colombia, Peru, Bosnia, Slovenia, Poland. Only about 7 of his 33 goals came against true CONCACAF minnows (Cuba, El Salvador, T&T, Guadelope, St. Vincent). Admittedly, he hasn’t done that well in competitive matches outside of CONCACAF (1 goal in 9…

Fuck lady bugs. When i was in college the government was dropping them by the millions for some reason and they swarmed our dorm. Literally lady bugs over every wall, in every corner, all over the ceiling. It was horrific and proved that any bug swarm is disgusting no matter how cute the bug is.

worms are not bugs unsubscribe

This 100%. The long con is not used enough in today’s instant gratification world.

Running in the zoo seems like a good choice. It’ll sure as shit make everyone who sees you think “What the fuck are they running from?”

Don't worry. Goodell has already suspended the account.

It’s gone beyond funny; it’s become transcendent. When I come around to checking the baseball scores at night, I always keep an eye out for the Cardinals score just so I’ll know if I have this to look forward to. Deadspin has made baseball great again.

You’re right. It’s fuckin’ hilarious.

Good question. Have you asked it before? Have you been able to get an answer? Keep us posted.

Lest anyone too young to know might think the draft dodger angle is the biggest insult in this tweet, refusing to call him Ali, and instead insisting on calling him Clay was the racist dog whistle of choice back then. Racist whites refused to do so for years after.

What’s the usual hardness of your encounters?

I’d just be happy with getting five outs in Game 6 of the NLCS. Let Moises Alou catch. Just. ONE. BALL.

LeBron James wears 23

I strongly considered this one and only didn’t pick it because I wasn’t alive to experience it. I had plenty of fucking grandparents to remind me of it all the time growing up.

That’s the smell of the world burning.

Canucks over Bruins in 2011...because fuck Boston

I dunno, I'm sure I've never sat down and really written out specific criteria. But, in my reckoning, what makes Ali special is that he not only had an in-ring career that is basically unrivaled in the history of his sport (in terms of the fighters he fought, the success he had against them, the way his boxing style…