Apparently Trump has been feeding them celeb dirt for decades in exchange for favourable stories about him as a desperate ploy to keep his name in the spotlight

It’s odd, given that I despise the air that Ted Cruz breathes, that I can’t bring myself to watch most of these videos. I feel so much embarrassment FOR him whenever I’m reminded that he even exists all, that I cannot bear to watch him in his worst moments. His whole life is like an I Love Lucy skit. He is destined…

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that rather than there being any actual coordination, the executives at the Enquirer came to the correct realization that the type of people who could get suckered and conned by a guy like Trump are pretty much exactly the Enquirer’s target audience.

Same reason there ended up…

Someone give Feinberg a Pulitzer immediately.

Cruz’s chin is my favorite part of him because it clearly hates his fat face and is trying to escape from it.

“you’re”

This. You know if John Lennnon was still around he’d have dumped Yoko for a Page 3 Girl and been one of those pro-Brexit assholes.

Tired of all the spiders in the real one?

“Wonderful Christmastime” is proof to me that Chapman shot the wrong Beatle.

Absolutely! Plus, invariably, I somehow put 27 times more batter than necessary into it and make the world’s biggest fucking mess for the next asshole (usually my wife) to try to deal with.

I once stayed at a cheap hotel in Texas and they had there very own Texas shaped waffle Iron! Those people love the shape of their state, and I love waffles.

The bacon is the only dependable thing at a free hotel breakfast bar.

I bought a fake wife for many of the same reasons.

There are thousands of guys in the suburbs of Boston, many who look like this, who are claiming that christmas came early this year now that buttholz got traded.

Plus, I think “Buchholz” has to be up there for worst words said with a Boston accent. The competition for that, though, is literally every other word.

There’s a generation of young Red Sox fans who didn’t know until today that Buchholz’s first name wasn’t “Fucking”.

He’s not going down to Philly to make starts, he’s specifically there to hunt any rogue squirrels that might invade the field come spring.

“What’s the problem? I was told to stand here, and wear this hat and jack..... oh shit.”

Barf Mitzvah