As a Lions fan, I can say with all honesty, brutal but fair.

Sure, he has to retract his misuse of ‘concussion’ and ‘nerve damage’, but no one says a thing to the Lions about their use of ‘NFL Franchise’

They’re both due for a beaning next time they are in St. Louis.  

“This young Guerrero Jr. is a star in the making, and Canadians have adopted them as their own. I propose we find an appropriate way to honor him, and I have a few ideas.”

“Exits time machine with Jimmy Pitaro”

Ramon Foster simply thinks Jerome Bettis was the better running back and enjoys listening to Don Henley privately.

His foot failed to make a football move before it lost possession of the plate.

I was still blown away that some unnamed AFC team was asking prospects, “If required, are you willing to claim that you were, in fact, misidentified as a 77 year old white male, who was spotted frequently at a specific massage parlor?”

“delicious-ass fucking meat”

Behold the power of the correctly-placed hyphen. 

Thursday at 10 Eastern on Lifetime:

This is a factually incorrect statement. I personally know at least 200 people who are far worse writers than Bill Simmons. You never met my 3 year old cousin who can’t even spell her own fucking name. Backwards “Rs” are unprofessional. Her name doesn’t even have an R in it. The fuck is that. So that’s one worse…

How insensitive. My grandparents were from Alderaan.

Before everyone does what they’re going to do and FREAKS OUT, let’s try to come to some compromise.

Phillies front office staff were just relieved Leach didn’t notice that Howard is still seeing playing time.

Mike Pence prefers to get all up in a woman’s vagina from a proper, legislative distance.

Yep, as Melania Trump, who can’t even bear to be in the same state as Donald, will attest to.

The really great thing is, you don’t have to be alone with a woman to take away her access to health care.

I hate that I don’t know if either one of you is kidding.

I feel the same. I’m a gynecologist.

Our intense weirdos can actually do good when they’re pointed in the right direction. Go be intense and weird and help get people the legal help they need, Jimbo!