But what about if it’s some kind of pickled situation, like a Mexican slaw or escabeche on top of a taco? Surely you dig that, right? You’re not a monster?

Can you imagine being able to lose $250 million and still be rich? Fuck all of these people. 

How do you figure that anyone profits off of this disaster? 

100 percent correct.

That’s a nice story. Thank you.

“Homeless spit” ??? Because obviously homeless people love to just spit, spit, spit, amrite?? There’s spit here, spit there. Just drool everywhere.*

they are victims in all of this.

One day, we’ll all get to see these soulless sacks of shit finally exit our federal government and then we can update our history books to show how truly horrifying they all were.

It always amazes me when I see this. Have you ever been around Red Sox fans? Yankees fans? God damn Cubs fans? Sure, I cringe a lot at my fellow Cards fans for being humorless idiots sometimes, but at least you can go to a Cards game and generally have a nice time without some dude named Joey with a neck tattoo…

I’ll take this over the alternative of actual music tastes of 20-somethings jocks.

This isn’t journalism. You made some phone calls, didn’t get any answers, and then connected your own dots. Have some respect for the dead and stop publicly gossiping on your website about how a young man died.

I’ll never get over how there’s a giant continent on the other side of the planet that has very large cities and looks a lot like America with tons of English-speaking white people, but it’s just a little different and they talk funny. It’s like a bizarro world.

many white athletes in general are able to almost-completely ignore politics in their daily lives.

What happened is a shame, regardless.

I think this goes to show how much rich people’s marriages are essentially business partnerships. She doesn’t care that Trump is saying this stuff because she doesn’t really give a shit about him. 

Dom looks increasingly stoked to do these bits.

By far the best chain delivery pizza service, and you guys even determined that in your taste test. Haters can fuck off.

Put the thesaurus away and chill out

You all realize you can just...not pay any attention whatsoever to this kind of shit, right? This isn’t a beat that’s necessary. I’ve ignored things like mid-day ESPN shows, Sportscenter and SI for the better part of the last decade—it’s been great!