It’s always striking to see woke athletes. Not just athletes that “don’t have any issue with gay people,” but people who are truly smart and self-aware enough to get it.

This is a joke, right? How is it out of step with the rest of the game? It’s been an essential component for the sport’s entire history (in fact, field goals have only become less meaningful over time, as they used to count for more points). It’s called FOOTball. The objective of the sport is to get the ball across…

Sometimes it feels like Root articles are written through MadLid form. I’m all for poking fun at white people, and I’m totally into this kind of breakdown...but it still needs to be funny. This isn’t funny, nor original. This right here is the laziest, worst joke at an open mic night:

I’m irrationally angry that the reaction you speak of and the screenshot you have provided is not found in the actual videos. Shame on you, Petchesky.

Jesus, I’m tired of the casual, “funny” PR Twitter person. It’s got to stop.

Human beings are so god damn stupid.

I don’t think ya’ll realize that these dudes are laughing at all of us. They’re just milking Hollywood (and idiot moviegoers) for every last penny. This was a chance to have movie execs pay for an extended vacation to London and for them to parade around the U.S. wearing silly costumes and making fart jokes. When…

...and maybe even his own bank accounts to finance the actual stadium construction.

It’s already been statistically proven that immigrants have a lower incidence of crimes committed than natural born American citizens. So, really, we should be thanking immigrants for flooding our borders and bringing down our per-capita crime rates. 

What ya’ll have described here is basically the atmosphere at any small non-profit institution (yes, Planned Parenthood is a big organization, but the actual medical centers are mostly autonomous and fend for themselves). The poor pay and poor treatment of people who work for non-profits is a really, really bad…

Avatar checks out.

I had no idea until right now that Elon Musk actually had “fans.” That’s the strangest fandom I think I’ve ever heard of.

I love the bookends of “Mr. Cool” and “throws it over the head of everybody.”

People really need to invest in the idea of not turning your TV on until you’re 100 percent sure the game has started. Screw kickoffs, I couldn’t care less. I hate the hour-long dance every network does before a sporting event, musical numbers and patriotic flag waving being the number one culprit. The game starts at…

“...unregulated mass immigration has badly hurt this country’s natural landscape.”

This sounds exactly like me when I’m around my friends who are die-hard NBA fans. I’m like, yeah, but Derrick Rose is going to save the Bulls season, amirite?

But here’s what’s interesting about that—Ware was the backup for Hunt, and wouldn’t have been on an interesting “to watch” list that also included Hunter Henry and Derrick Johnson. Like, I’m confused. I think this dude was straight ad-libbing names out of his dusty attic of a brain.

They had to completely retool the offense in order to adapt to Jackson’s skill set, and at this point abandoning the new system, which has produced good results—it’s amazing what can happen when a coach is smart enough to shape his system around his players rather than the other way around—out of loyalty to Flacco…

Yeah this kind of sucks. The shitty part of me just wants to know because I’m curious—and you know that Drew would be obsessive if this kind of thing happened with like, Kawhi Leonard or something. But the better part of me is lying awake at night thinking that he’s a dad and husband and I really enjoy his work and I…

white people protecting white people