OK, there is something mostly unrelated to the content of the review that I would like to get off my chest. Why did Ms Schrader review the Subaru Ascent and Mr Westbrook review the Hyundai Veloster?

I can’t wait to try to find one in 5 years and be disappointed it’s still out of my price range.

Wait, does that actually read “DO NOT USE”?

Seriously. What was wrong with the good old days?

This article lacks a conclusion. Why is it shaped like that?

The door handles on my 1980 Fiat Ritmo were metal - pot-metal, granted, so the two front handles inevitably broke off. Fortunately, the two less-used rear door handles were identical, so I swapped them forward. They were still fine when I sold the car for the equivalent of ~$100

because “DYNAMIC”

The message is tacky but whatever.

Also, do you think we could get a “where are they now” style update on some of these “what should I buy” posts? It would be cool to see what they actually went with!

This is the correct answer to almost every question.

I predict a new recurring Jalopnik column: “Here’s what we’ll remember about the [insert any sedan].”

Did they spray the thing in bedliner?

Is “not knowing there’s a Charger Hellcat” a thing, or just for the writer here?

That sounds like too much work for nothing.

I was a little behind on my payments and really needed to get out from underneath my car loan. So one day I’m driving down the road and had a great thought — what if I “accidentally” drive my car into a lake and blame a low-flying pelican?! So that’s what I did, and that’s what I told the insurance company happened.…