Don't give up. I understand there may be a few openings.

YOU MEAN I COULD HAVE JUST EMAILED TOMMY CRAGGS AND SAID I WANTED TO WRITE FOR DEADSPIN THE WHOLE TIME

the debate was had. you lost. by a score of roughly Sherman’s March to the Atlantic to nil. your flag commemorates hatred, treason, and the deaths of hundreds of thousands of americans in the name of preserving white supremacy. Dylann Roof waved it knowing that you and the entirety of South Carolina stood behind him…

I always liked the GoBots explanation, they had been human-like but a near extinction event led a mad scientist to allow them to be reborn as cyborgs since it was the only way they could survive.

When the reporter turned to Marshawn and asked him what his mother’s influence meant to him, he answered “I’m thankful”.

Ever since Simmons wrote an article about 15 years ago about NBA players playing soccer, I’ve been fascinated with the idea of someone like LeBron playing goalie. That’s all I want to see. I think he’d actually just get to everything.

They could cancel their subscription.

Here we see him getting both a base hit and drawing a yellow card.

These Stand Your Ground laws have gone way too far.

That’s a really underhanded thing to do.

You! You right there! You may be one of the people John Oliver is talking ABOUT rather than talking TO.

In Australia, their tears stream the opposite direction.

GOD DAMN IT. (Yeah, I mixed up Sanchez and Romo. Pardon me as I stepped aside for a concussion protocol.)

Drinking a little early today, or did you soberly mix up two technically-hispanic, lower-tier quarterbacks well past whatever sad prime they claimed to have had?

It’s crazy to think that 37 years ago you couldn’t find a horse powerful enough to play Clash of the Clans.

People forget how great Secretariat truly was. I blame this PC culture of ours, changing the name to “Administrative Assistant’s Day.” Total BS if you ask me.

Except, in this case, I don't think the end result would be that the last few books are of better quality than the rest of the series.

"Instead, it'll be in the winter, when temperatures rarely get out of the 70s."