Chevy Celebrity high five*

I did too. Then I grew up and became Canadian. Now I pretty much never stop telling all of my American friends & relatives how much better things are here.

“Our Border Laws are very weak while those of Mexico & Canada are very strong.”

Oh Mr President, if there’s one thing that your time in office has taught us all, it’s that no matter how bad things get, there’s always an arrogant asshole who can find a way to make things worse...

I am going to a party at a friend’s house for the wedding. At five A.M. in the US on the East Coast. It’s gonna be prosecco and scones and all of us there talking in fake British accents that get faker by the drink and likely, we’ll all be passed out by noon.

Case in point

Only if Barron’s book is “My Dad Vlad”

I had a celebrity too... god that thing sucked.

Kids I want to write tell-all books:

-1 for lack of username/post synergy

It was an ugly car, but an awesome one. My dad sold it over 15 years ago and last I heard, some kid in my hometown is still getting around in it.

“Teachers want more, but it’s kinda like having a teenage kid that wants a better car.”

Prez also wants out of Syria NOW, NOW NOW NOW!

I’m not seeing the problem here.

You know, though it probably will never happen, it would be awesome if every guy in the school showed up to graduation in heels and a wig.

Put any bucket in front of him and he’ll only start eating the contents.

You and your fact based replies. Get out of here.

I saw the lead picture and thought “Hello, fellow teenagers! I, too, am a cool teenager.”

Michael Rapaport is his own black friend.