Mitch McConnell has got to get ground into a fine paste go! But (1) Amy McGrath needs to work on her screen presence and (2) have her video people turn down the music bed. Sheesh!

“This is going to get way uglier. Strap in, y’all.”

Wait.  People were saying that?!?

“His remote control is actually the non-functioning joystick of an Atari 2600.”

Give me Jennifer Coolidge or give me death!

With all the money he must have, you’d think he wouldn’t be stuck with a low-flow shower head.

I like Brie Larson and I’m excited to see her as Captain Marvel again but through the whole movie I imagined her thinking “I’m acting! I’m acting SO HARD right now!” It wasn’t great. Admittedly, I’ve never seen her in anything else.

“I believe that if people stoped using or subscribing to @ATT, they would be forced to make big changes at @CNN, which is dying in the ratings anyway.”

He has always been evil. What makes you think this will make him choke and die? I’m not saying someone should murder the guy but if someone did, I’d shrug and move on.

How about “My Cuckabee’s spawn”?

“...in an effort to be as extreme and shocking as possible.”

We need memes, people!! STAT!!!

“Oh lovely, he is now talking in third person.”

“...as of 5:12 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.”

The Republicans are desperate for a war with Iran. Wartime presidents get reelected. Plus the whole “defense industry” makes a shit ton of money off war.

If nothing else, the last 10 years have made it crystal clear that the bulk of Republicans in the Executive and Legislative branches have zero respect for the Constitution or the American people and only want power for themselves. Up until that point I think one could make a solid argument either way but there’s…

Equipping myself to kill my fellow man because he’s equipped himself to kill me seems to be the recipe for the gun violence we see today.

Almost as bad as mixing nuts and raisins. What the hell is up with that?! 

Are you trying to say that the laws of our country aren’t applied evenly to all people?! I’m shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you!!!