...in a democracy, in the land of the free, who are we to tell people that they can’t be slaves if they want to be? 

The Tulsa riots are fucking (totally believable) unbelievable. It’s pretty incredible to drive around north Tulsa and see all the still-vacant lots. Most of them are “bermed” so the lots are raised above street level. They still have cement steps cast into the berm by the sidewalk. It’s one of the only ways you’d know…

I’m 100% on board with this but I’m confused by “The heroes who called the cops have not yet been heralded for rescuing Walmart from financial collapse.”

The only way it could have been better is if she started yelling “Abner! ABNER!!” for her husband at some point.

I feel like there’s a Family Guy cutaway gag in your post. Like a father and son standing in a field of gently swaying Michael Rappaports, talking about how they’re almost as high as an elephant’s eye or some such.

I just got into The Wire on Amazon Prime and I’m stretching it out because I don’t want it to end. I’m a few episodes into Season 5. Unfortunately the only thing I ever heard about the show is one big spoiler about one character in particular. I’m so mad that I know!

That lady will probably die in that house. Making everyone in the neighborhood miserable the whole time.

“Hurry up, do it, and get out!” seems more like packing than unpacking. Just saying.

I know there are laws against frivolous use of emergency services....why aren’t they enforced?

Lol. Nice try.

Rural Ohio is really quite beautiful. Especially the southeastern region down by Athens. But the people are just...bad.

Very tasteful choice. The fact that the artwork on a card isn’t a bear humping a pumpkin for a pile of money disappoints me, though.

I can say with great certainty based on firsthand experiences that white rural Ohioans are fucking awful.

Brilliant take is brilliant. 👍

I feel like “The Bing Bang Theory” would be a significantly different show. We’re due for a Friends spin-off tho.

Yes. That is an accurate description of events.

Wait. What about the original comment requires getting a job or going to therapy?

Back in my day, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. “Gimme five bees for a quarter,” you’d say!

“You we’re doing well...until everyone died.” — God, Futurama

Hot take: Some people are as dumb about pets as they are about kids.