No, that's not Black people, that's Jamiroquai.

Guy Fieri looks like Smash Mouth sounds.

Now that you mention it, all the girls are performing as though they're in the best possible season of "American Horror Story." Archie, however, is just doing his best to channel the late Cory Monteith.

Whether it's the original comic, the rebooted line, or this show, one of the unspoken house rules seems to be "there is no bigotry in the town of Riverdale." It's designed to be both an "I hope high school is like this" for younger readers in the original line, and an "I wish high school really had been like that" for…

Across the river in Greendale (which may or may not be the same Greendale as COMMUNITY), the characters have bizarre distaff counterparts; Reggie has tried very hard to hook up with Regina.

The trouble is that the material isn't quite arch enough for the character, and Cole's performance, though great in the subler, more "human" moments, isn't arch enough for the material.

The dads were in a band called the FredHeads and drove around in a shaggin' wagon twenty/thirty years ago. Frankly it's a shock their names aren't Casey Jones and Sugar Magnolia Jones.

The rebooted comic handles it well- Archie is genuine, but a total numpty. There's not a single situation he can't make worse with either his clumsiness or his impulsiveness. Betty's had complicated feelings for him since childhood, but she's simply too smart for him- the last time Archie tried complimenting her, he…

"And that child who was molested
In her bedroom late last night-
When she woke, he was inside her,
No one else but Mac Tonight!"

I went to a Brit Floyd show in 2014, and the crowd played along with the "Hammer! Hammer! Heil Hitler!" chants without any weirdness. I don't know how that part of the show plays live now…

Sounds like the start of a new arc on Night Vale.

I would enjoy if the comic reboot's characterization of Reggie (particularly the "Jughead" version) carried over into this show, but I get that such a broad character type might not fit the tone of this show. Still, "basic horny jock, but Asian" isn't quite as interesting of a character as "textbook fuckboy fusion of…

"Okay, Archie. Name three songs."

Rupert Grint? GASP!

Their cover of "Dangerous Type" from "The Craft" is on some volume of the Vinnie Rattolle Halloween Mixtape series, and that track alone got me into the band.

The thing that amused me was that he apparently JUST figured out what a guitar riff is during his practice with Valerie, but by the talent show the next day he has learned to finger-pick competently.

In general, when I try to remember Jughead lines or voiceovers after the episode, I don't hear Cole Sprouse in my head, I hear Danny Pudi. It's probably for that reason.

There's a musical running Off-Broadway right now with music by John Kander of "Chicago" and "Cabaret" fame called "Kid Victory." It's rubbing almost EVERYONE the wrong way (especially after the Milogate scandal of the past few weeks), for its story of teen sexual abuse.

I guess you weren't watching the Director's Cut…

I remember the Buzz Lightyear video game and the cartoon inspired by it. I played the crap out of that as a kid- Patrick Warburton is always Buzz to me.