Why don't we do "The Threepenny Carol?"

Christmas is coming
And so is Santa Claus
Please stuff your twenties in the strippers' bras
If you have no twenties,
A Hamilton will do
If you have no Hamiltons-
Security? Security!

Santa's baby,
He stiffed some lady under the tree, you see
Didn't come back for years,
Now his bastard
Is gonna rescue Christmas tonight!

You heard it here first, folks- Marie J. Logan killed and ate her own family.

You shower will.

I was in a play in college where one of the characters, a slightly unhinged heavy drinker with extraordinary, Ozzy-like tolerance, poured himself one of those jumbo wine glasses of Nyquil and drank it like water.

Isn't his famous quote, "I don't care, kill someone! Anyone!"

I was sure that header image was Gerrit Graham as BEEF in "Phantom of the Paradise."

They're actually working with the Archie corporation on a semi-satirical Archie the Musical with the songwriters of "Walk Hard," last time I heard.

It's really saying something that 90's X-Men made a "Wolverine experiments with Christianity" subplot less awkward than the infamous Archie tracts.

"The Strong and True need no music, for the stomping of boots and screaming of the weak is always in their ears."

I was relieved to find out it was about his fears of failure as a father; something about the song always made me think it was a farewell to a dead baby, and that macabre subtext has always colored the song for me.

So Bob Dylan tries to go to Crouch, ends up in Crouch End instead when a taxi ride goes wrong… and he isn't torn to pieces by eldritch abominations? Impossible!

I've had conversations with people who have said that Billy Joel is one of the last people carrying on the Great American Songbook tradition, writing songs with the chordal complexities and nuances of jazz and the classics, but in popular modes of the time, the way Cole Porter and his ilk did.

When I was a kid, I thought the lyric was "Captain Jack will get you off," for some reason. I just assumed it was a song about a male gigolo.

Not quite yet- first the Constitution gets moved to Tuesday nights, then Sean Hayes starts guest starring in it.

Yeah, I mean he only destroyed PART of the world!

So are you advocating a neo-Luddite agrarian collectivism? I've actually heard a lot of people on the fringes of the left advocating this position lately, which before I had always heard as a conservative strawman.

Oglaf had a strip about "bespoke fucks" for the rich and creative.

It's a more severe line-drawing than that of the First Civil Rights Era, when "white was right, and everyone else was wrong." Now, it's not just whites but white supremacists who are "us," and everyone else, including the tolerant members of some imaginary master race, are wrong.