I've always wondered- for a galaxy far, far away, where technology is light-years ahead of our world, why is our respirator care ultimately better than theirs? Darth Vader, General Grievous and Forest Whittaker all have "sinister asthma" despite being mostly cyborgs. Couldn't they get a lung transplant or robot lung…

Now that I've actually read the "new Riverdale" imprint up to the present, this is actually pretty accurate. Jughead's preoccupation is never with love, it's with hormones and horniness, and the advantages of not having a distracting and temperamental sex drive. He doesn't have much of a beef with love when it's…

Now that Howard the Duck is in the MCU, voiced by Seth Green (no stranger to absurdist comedy and sci-fi/fantasy), my Christmas wish is that they let Justin Roiland take a crack at a Howard the Duck reboot.

I took that as part of the point- like when the girl insinuated she was going to have an hour-long orgasm and didn't necessarily seem to be kidding or exaggerating. The physical pleasure, like everything else, is an illusion and not biological.

The bullet entered his brain. He loved Big Brother.

Three words: "They're robots, Morty."

I played Bobby in high school. The Raul Esparza revival had just come out so the show was trendy enough to make teens want to do it, and I got to play the grand piano in the finale like he did (even though nobody else in the show ever played any instruments).

There's a famous musical called "Company" in which a 35-year-old man has a midlife crisis about his singleness and his no longer being young in any meaningful way. It's a testament to how far we've come as a healthy species that it's a quaint notion today.

You heard it here first, folks: Adrianna E. Mendez killed and ate her own family.

Former Broadway star Glenn Carter is the head of a particularly weird cult called the Raelians.

TRUE SHOWBIZ TALES #30: I've played in some really shitty garage bands on the side during my time as a writer for the theatre, and one of them used to close our sets with a Me First and the Gimme Gimmes style cover of "What a Wonderful World" with the line changed to "And I think to myself… FUCK THE WORLD" and then…

Is that the one where God comes down from heaven and kills Prince at the end?

I just wish "Tink the Musical" would come back to life- there's a nice guitar I told myself I wouldn't spend work money on, only royalties and theatre money. C'mon, Tink, daddy wants to learn how to play again!

My first thought was "Lady Gaga as Leia?"

I'm always sort of impressed when I discover that another BoJack character is voiced by Brie. She's obviously doing great work as Diane, but her minor characters like the cow or the existential-panic game show announcer are really diverse.

I tend to get all three early-90s Schwarzenegger comedies wrapped up into a single movie in my head, where he's twin pregnant kindergarten-cops.

It was better than their original name ideas, which were either "Donald Duck in Nazi Land" or "Maeve."

In the words of Hedwig Schmitt, internationally ignored song stylist, "Ohhh, Mr. James Franco. All the privileges of homosexuality, but none of the responsibilities."

The Polanski film "Dance of the Vampires" has all the major "Dracula Universe" characters with different names (presumably for legal reasons). Their Alucard is Herbert von Krolock, and their Dracula is Count von Krolock.

When Qui-Gon swam to Gungan land/Let my prequels go