Unless you're selling sex!

I know from name association that Cree Summer is a gorgeous, sexy woman but I try to picture her and only see a stream of 90s and 2000s cartoon characters.

Norm Lewis = best Phantom
Gerard Butler = most sunburnt Phantom
Billy Zane = THE Phantom

"A Fiddler- on the roof? Now, what the hell kind of crazy cracker shit is that? But here in our little neighborhood of Anatevka Heights, you might say every one of us is that same muthafuckin' fiddler on the roof, just trying to make some sweet music without The Man breaking our necks."

I can't listen to the Stones version now without dubbing in Little Richard's insane screams.

Maybe so, but it's one of my favorite movies because it so completely sums up an artistic aesthetic that was never really attempted successfully again. As a love letter to horror iconography, German Expressionism, high camp performance artists, the last gasps of "Burtonesque" actually meaning something, and an almost…

This year's Christmas pick: "Merry Christmas, Maggie Thatcher" by Sir Elton John, which has become almost sickeningly prophetic. https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Eh, my money is still on it being a bit, albeit a complex and intentionally unsettling bit that reveals a certain amount of autobiographical truth.

Fuckin' Mamet. Toned the whole thing the fuck down. Fuckin' prick.

I used to attend a local eating competition where amateurs had an hour to take down a two-foot, five-pound Italian Stallion sandwich. Half an hour and your sandwich was free, under an hour and you were declared a winner and ranked.

A group of teens that I mentor in the theatre (all three of whom are now actually more successful than me in that field, but as performers instead of writers) were hooked on Shoenice, the perpetually stoned stunt-eater. The tiniest, shrimpiest kid of them all was convinced he could take down a Happy Meal in under 60…

It's the theme song of the Scream franchise- what others is it in?

Boy, "Rock-A-Doodle" in college was a weird reevaluation.

Not easy to define! We both have truths- are yours the same as mine?

I think it's the difference between pragmatically running a militaristic superpower and just being insane. Bush was like "to make an omelette, we may have to break some eggs." As opposed to "Fuck eggs! Let's just smash all the fuckin' eggs!"

The girl who was gonna play Putter in my ever-advancing plans to stage "The Ricky Coogan Show" just got an audition for "School of Rock." Not sure if it's the musical or the unrelated but similarly licensed TV show. Also, I think I found the perfect Ricky. I can literally smell a Best of Off-Broadway 2018 award. They…

It also implies and trivializes rape. It's just a perfect storm of casual privilege.

Christmas is cancelled. In fact, December is cancelled.

Cuck: any man who does not exert oppressive dominance over any/all women (variant: also minorities, homosexuals, the poor, liberals).
It's such a multi-purpose repugnant word that it may well become the 21st century version of f****t, which has always been applied to whatever society's most defenseless punching bag…

Flat circle, awright awright awright. Cahh-cossa.