-Read: "This will end America and many, if not most, Americans."

Sometimes you hit all the green lights, sometimes it's nothing but red. You be you, whoever and whatever that may entail. Don't let anyone, no matter how powerful or how orange, stop you from embracing the fact that different is not wrong.

Beetlejuice/Pence 2020?

The sad, sick truth: he's not our first rapist president, nor will he likely be the last.

But not DBZ, since Vegeta just won the election.

Is it too late to elect her instead?

Anti-Jacobin, anti-utopian, anti-revolutionary type: are you Ignatius Reilly?

"What is… Janet Reno's description of Donald Trump?"

The current anti-smoking commercials, where the "monkey on your back" is an abusive little homunculus who demands your time and attention, strike me as being not quite on the nose enough to be a PSA, nor quite absurd enough to be a good South Park bit. It could stand to veer one way or another- right now it's like the…

"Runaway Train" is the best Tom Petty song that wasn't.

You'll never hear her solo, but she can play the guitar as well as That Girl at the Coffeeshop You Sometimes Go To (although That Girl sings better).
She did an acoustic "Like a Prayer" at the Concert for Haiti with just acoustic guitar strums and a gospel choir. It was actually pretty good.

Well, no one liked "Cursed Child" pretty much at all, and it's still a huge hot-ticket months later with a transfer to the US all but guaranteed. "Fantastic Beasts" can't be worse.

I feel like this was an episode of "Goosebumps" once.

I thought that was Madeline True, lesbian.

Velvet Goldmine next week? Please and thank you?

You say "dizzy broads" and I automatically picture Steven Weber as pimp/drug lord/wife beater Jack Stone in "Reefer Madness."

It's so well-sequenced: a song about drugs and "alternative spiritualties" of all sorts, then one about struggling with mainstream Christian belief while not being able to really shake it off, then closing the album with a deeply spiritual but deeply eroticized reading of "Wild is the Wind" that seems to be both…

I had a conversation with an Egyptian poet a few weeks ago about the idea of a mummy movie being an interesting allegory for 21st century post-colonialism and the self-perpetuating war on terror. Sure, mummies are bad and dangerous, nobody can deny that, but mummies don't necessarily show up out of nowhere. The mummy…

The Mummy is the fourth Indiana Jones film, as far as I'm concerned.

The best religious-affiliated music has always come from a place of mingled faith and doubt. Anti-faith screeds and pro-faith wanks are both equally off-putting to anyone distinctly on one side or the other; meanwhile, just about everyone can agree that Jethro Tull, Kanye West and soul man/Thin White Duke era Bowie…