Mr. Crumpacker should speak with the grating Yale accent, like the Mark Hamill Joker does.

Algernon Montcrieff was a BunburyIST. Oscar Wilde was a BunburyER. Huge difference.

The 3-disc ABBA platinum collection is all the ABBA you need, and a little bit more. Get that and the version of CHESS of your choice, and you're set.

Brian Doyle-Murray is still doing penance for "Frosty Returns," the worst Christmas Special of all time.

Fucking on heroin?

The ruined crown-hat is a weird period throwback that happens to work well today as both a hipster affectation (2015!Jughead is a total hipster), and as an ironic reminder that he used to be rich and powerful, but is now shit poor like the rest of us plebs.

No, it's a Tom Waits lyric: https://www.youtube.com/wat…

The Muppets don't follow the Mickey/Goofy rule: while Mickey Goofy and the other anthropomorphic Disney "funny animals" are technically considered animal-like people, human in all but appearance, the Muppets are considered animals, biologically speaking. Animals with the same level of sentience and evolution as…

My favorite Muppet trivia is that Johnny Mathis was going to sing Paul Williams's love ballad in "The Muppet Movie," but his rendition of the song was too sincere and too moving. It's a sappy Seventies love song (much like "Evergreen," by the same composer), and Mathis's straight-faced version was a little too…

American Housewife of Frankenstein. "I'm now the second fattest zombie in the neighborhood!"

Leslie Gore? Shit, Klaus Nomi!

John Astin's Gomez is a rich, joyful eccentric. Imagine a heterosexual Edward Gorey and you'd pretty much have Gomez Addams. I tend to prefer the imperious, unpredictable, ambiguously foreign patriarch of Raul Julia, but ANYTHING is better than Nathan Lane's wacky Spaniard-by-way-of-Telemundo version.

I like the modern interpretation that Frankenstein is neither a given name nor a surname for the monster, but a brand name of sorts. You can have "a Frankenstein" or "Frankensteins" if you're essentially dealing with a biological or necro-biological golem, somewhere between a zombie and an android.

I wanted to make a joke about the girls on GIRLS being chased by a werewolf or a Frankenstein or something, but I'm beginning to think that wouldn't be the worst movie in the world.

It's a genuine shame Vincent Price never got to play Pretorius.

Trumpty Dumpty built a high wall
Trumpty Dumpty sucked his own ball
All the King's horses and all the King's men-
Trumpty had sex with all of them.

Is the mediocre mid-level Mormon heaven the DBZ type one where you wander around seeking enlightenment and greater power? I know top tier is God-tier.

"MYYYYYYYyyyy temple should beeee…. a house of puh-RAYER!" (blues lick) "But you have maaaaaade it- a DEN of THIEEEEEEVES!" (blues lick) "Get out- GET OUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT!"

Could it be the way that it establishes a haunting setting, then barely explores it, staying within the confines of the farmyard like a stage production of "The Witch?" That struck me as a little odd.

I mentioned this on here in a past True Showbiz Tale, but when I was hired to write a parody of Disney's "Little Mermaid" at short notice, I included this (actual) incantation as the spell at the end of Act 1, and included in the stage directions that they should light candles, move clockwise and perform certain…