"Suck a dick, dumbshits!"

Sheen should have replaced Matthew Perry as Oscar on "The Odd Couple." He's rarely a brilliant actor, but he has charm and comic timing, two things Perry seems to lack despite being surrounded with well-pedigreed comic performers.

Home Improvement spawned the equally predictable but much weirder "According to Jim," which had an oddly specific, pseudo-Shakespearean-romantic-comedy formula for every episode: Jim and his brother get into some hijinks and try to hide it from his hot wife and hot sister-in-law. BUT, hot wife and hot sister-in-law…

"John Boyega can't be a stormtrooper, because he's a member of the racially marginalized POC group that WE hate, not the racially marginalized POC group the Australians hate!"

Much as I respect Takei, his musical was better served by having no clip.

Yeah, man, caring about stuff is gay. But George Takei already IS gay, so, uh… I guess it's okay for him to care?

Two web sites, both alike in dignity,
(In Univision, where we lay our scene)
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
As AV Club deem Supper Club unclean.

That's one thing I love about the localization of the Ace Attorney games: as Japanese games, they're just steeped in the randomness and cultural troping that Japanese anime comedy often runs on. As localized American games, set in alternate-universe California where Asia became west coast America's primary cultural…

I won't lie and say that I liked the show, but good for Takei investing so much of both his money and his time/creative energy in what is clearly a passion project with something to say. As someone who has labored for years on less socially aware but equally demanding passion projects, I know how draining this can be.

I believe someone else wrote the libretto to South Pacific as well.

And you were. I hate Trump as much as the next guy that hates Trump, but it's scary/infuriating to me that for the first time in decades, we have genuine third parties, and we're still not supposed to pay any attention to them because the system only substantially supports two. It's all built around a "don't blame me,…

Welcome to America, where we tell you there are valid choices, but that's a lie. Truth is, there's really only ONE POLITICAL PARTY AND A BUNCH OF WRONG ANSWERS. Enjoy free will, but do try not to exercise it- it's not worth the risk of too many people making the wrong decisions.

If elected president, I hope to pass laws requiring all people to return to communicating (in print or out loud) in the sort of gushing, exclamatory monologues popularized by nineteenth century novel dialogue.

In college I once tried to jokingly pitch the most pandering children's picture book franchise I could imagine, and it was something like "Princess Cowboy and the Pirate Dinosaur Firefighters from Space." Did I miss anything kids like to read about?

What dreams may come both dark and deep

Magnificeeeeeeent- Seven!

There was a one man show called "Miss Gulch Returns," positing that Miss Gulch was the breakout character in "The Wizard of Oz" instead of Dorothy, and that forty years after the movie, Margaret Hamilton (played by a man in drag) reprised the Gulch role for a cabaret.

He was Dr. House's friend in the mental home who battled his bipolar disorder by freestyle rapping compulsively. When his mind wasn't rapping, it was racing and leading him to do self-destructive or just destructive things.

While most remembered for playing the Cryptkeeper, Kassir is probably best remembered for being the guy in "Reefer Madness" who tries to rape Kristen Bell but ends up getting sexually assaulted by HER.

Someone should make a slightly insufferable indie out of "The Ramen King and I," the memoir about an American who saves his relationship and gets out of a quarterlife crisis by embracing Momofuku Ando as his guru. Better than it sounds.