As a teen, I played bass in a VERY brief contemporary-worship group associated with my Catholic Church. The parish music director shut the whole thing down fast, because he said that emotionally or socially effective music goes against what he saw as the purpose of music in the ministry: to unite a bunch of "I minds"…

They'll never stop the Star Wars/Have no fears, we'll get movies for years!

If the Star Wars franchise wanted to expand into a little bit of comedy and satire, I'd be interested in a "Jar Jar: Decades Later" subplot. If you really look at what he became, he was a hapless war hero groomed to be a populist politician, whose gullibility eventually led to the rise of a fascist regime. Decades…

They've been using Patti LaBelle's "Are You Ready for a Miracle?" as the ad bumper music, but every time I hear it I think it's Cartman's upbeat gospel song, "Swimmer's Body of Christ."

I think that's sort of become the point of Conan's show- he does special events, but mostly he hosts people from the standup world about to break into the mainstream, or bands that aren't big enough to hit the major shows just yet.

Mr. Peanutbutter for President!

Burma-Shave.

Don't knock it 'til you try it.

How does a man so much smarter than us make so many decisions dumber than we would?

There's a really good catfishing horror movie called "The Night Listener," with Robin Williams.

Granted, my friends and I enjoyed it, but we are young, we are strong, we're not looking for where we belong.

A movie length wild rumpus feels like it would be forty minutes of Max and the monsters dancing wildly to Enya out in the woods.

Remember the outrage over "Silent Night, Deadly Night" back in the eighties? There needs to be a new Christmas movie that can shock and repel people in today's more jaded era.

But ehf ye hahd the chaunce ta cheenge yah feighttt… wOOOOdjeh?

Jason Bateman and Toni Colette in: Bateman Begins.

While I was in NYC with my show over the summer I ate spicy beef/lamb gyro for lunch probably three days a week. Glory.

Shoe teriyaki, buffalo teriyaki, Buffalo chicken teriyaki, child teriyaki, unicorn teriyaki, Pikachu teriyaki…

Bentdick Cumstainedbottom?

"I don't have television- I have a fireplace."

I think she wants to be like Linda Ronstadt- to have conquered every genre at least adequately before she goes out.