“A girl can be friends with someone with a dick and not hop on it,”

I know it’s popular to mock her around these parts, but I’ll be damned if she isn’t fucking on point with this rant. Good for her.
(Also I think she’s totes adorbs but that’s irrelevant.)

Wait... Did you just make me like Ariana Grande?

So I know I’m behind on this but is “dadbod” just a “cute” way we’re going to talk mean about heavy dudes?

What’s a 19 Day Arm? I’ve had mine for 23 years, those arms sound pathetic.

I’m not going to watch the video, but I’ve got to say, it’s pretty cool that she’s turning what happened to her into performance art pieces. It’s probably empowering, and I bet it’s a really good way to process it.

Is it ok to be against rape but still think this sucks

Goddammit stop killing me.

*Although, how that’s supposed to justify his actions is beyond me.

Wait, what.

Aside from the very obvious fact that these are disgusting human beings who do not deserve to call themselves parents, I’m sort of interested by the this complete and total PR meltdown here. I’m assuming they have the money to hire someone good, but everything they have said and done speaks otherwise. Like, there…

god dammit, someone at my office is going to hear me laughing, stop it, you.

I can’t imagine what it must be like to believe that fondling little girls while they’re asleep is no big thing. They keep insinuating that it’s fine because they were asleep. This is like saying it’s better to rape a girl who is blacked out than one who is sober.

Pure speculation on my part, but.

I think I improved your title. No way these asshats would just own up to anything.

“he told me the bible says its okay to poop in your hand then eat it but i’m not allowed to read so idk”

Can I just say... it’s like 2 weeks later, and I’m still shocked that it’s InTouch carrying the journalistic water here. But good for them, for real. I know it’s kind of backhanded to say it that way, but I don’t know how to give them a compliment for the truly great work they’re doing here without it sounding…

He has a face that looks like the result of Gary Shandling mating with a pig.