Different universe, but she's most like Gollum.

Well said. It's got to be tremendously conflicting when somebody you respect is accused of something horrible, so I understand her awkward reaction.

I hope your pack fit better than this poor, kyphotic silhouette's.

Norm MacDoanald, one of my favorite stand-ups, says that nobody "loses the battle" against cancer. When you die so does the cancer, so at worst you tie!

Do you remember where you heard that drowning is peaceful? Certainly, it's possible for people to report on it (anybody who drowned and was later resuscitated), but I can't recall any first person accounts.

Your avatar is terrific.

I wish I'd worked through all that stuff when I was young. You're lucky.

I love the saran wrap idea. So simple.

To be fair, nobody reads Jezebel for the critical thinking. You come either to have your beliefs validated, or you come to hate-read.

Studies have shown a direct correlation between the amount of porn one watches and one's level of overall sexual satisfaction.

I took an old girlfriend to a Conan taping and we had a blast. Like you said, it lasted 75 minutes, tops, and felt very similar to watching on TV.

You responded with hostility to multiple people who questioned your assertions. So while I'm pretty good, it actually took me a few comments to realize you're closed-minded and sensitive.

I'm always here to help, but you don't seem like the kind of person who likes to have his/her preconceptions contradicted, so maybe it's best you don't.

On that we agree. I already wrote that it was disingenuous to trumpet a "43% drop." Good sound bite, indeed. Though not as crowd-pleasing and demonstrably untrue as the headline "Obesity is Due to Factors Beyond Our Control," which was my original point.

My plausible causal mechanism? Michelle Obama.

The page you linked to includes the following quote from the American Cancer Society:

"Basically what it boils down to is this: if you recode your variables enough, you'll almost always be able to get a false positive."

What "false positives" are you referring to? Nobody in this study (at least the part we're discussing) was tested for any disease, virus, antibody, gene, etc. They were just weighed.

How would you reconcile your hypothesis (not a theory) with the fact that childhood obesity is down 43% in the last ten years*?

Avocados? Many dog foods include avocado as a main ingredient, and my vet recommended it for my dog's itchy skin.