@LittleWaynesBleedingHead: You could wrap a turd in bacon and it would be delicious.

Goddamned Lester. Absolutely shutting the Yankees down tonight. I hope he gets fucking cancer.

@Playoff_Beard: Let alone who other people share their birthdays with.

INVIZABUL GIANT BLUNT!

Has Rachel Nichols always had big boobs?

@PrettyPrettyPrincess: Hot like vomit.

@Summerbabe: This bar sucks. Even the jukebox is busted!

Can anybody suggest some songs that are fun (and easy) to play on the guitar?

@ClintonPortishead: He's just trying to dilute his idiocy.

@MrRedDevil: The Jeter/A-Rod rift supposedly started when, in an interview, A-Rod said something to the effect of, "Jeter is not the kind of hitter that pitchers fear."

@Playoff_Beard: Yeah, but I bet he said "please" and "thank you," and probably called you "Mr. Beard."

@MrRedDevil: No way.

@NoPracticoBurress: I don't think you're in the minority at all.

@Phil Mickelsons Man Tits: uh, thepale.

@MrRedDevil: Yup. I'm a Yankee fan, and have been talking myself into rooting for A-Rod for years. No more.

In the event of a softball brawl, the best way to break it up is to scream, "Hey! Is that The Indigo Girls in the parking lot?!?"

@Chamomiles Davis: It reminds me I haven't had sex in a while.

@Business_Socks: You know who'd be holding the other end of Princess Dee's chain?

@ClintonPortishead: Han Barbaro

Time to head out.