It figures that the Six Winter Springs High football team runs a no-option spread.

"These woods over here?"

Don't do business with A-Rod unless you know what urine for.

*goes to private area to analyze court documents for possible clerical errors*

I found something interesting. I found it interesting that you think I'm going to read through all that shit and do your job for you.

In 1987 I paid my cousin $9 to shut up about Metroid.

It's been 13 years, Keyshawn. I think it's time to let it go.

"I thought it was super weird that Foles kept asking for my little sister's number in the huddle..."

Kobe: What did the five fingers with championship rings on them say to the face?

Report: Timberwolves unpopular with fans, according to telephone poll

The finger then bounced off his head and went over the outfield wall

He's a heart attack and a tumor away from the new Gordie Howe hat-trick.

Here's said handler screaming "NO MEANS NO!" at ESPN Deportes reporter John Sutcliffe, and to be fair "No" in English does indeed mean "No" in Spanish.

He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster.

Imagining this made me snort at my desk.

In Ultimate Frisbee, this is called a Callahan. I like to think that if it ever happened in the NFL, it would be call The Jet.

Atlanta Hawks, eh? Should be a fun game!