His jean shorts say "yeah, I probably neglect my child" while his Florida residency says "yeah, I probably neglect my child."

Please be alright.

This is incredible. I've been on Twitter for three years and never noticed spelling or grammar this good.

Referee: "Because of these unusual circumstances, the match will be struck."

A bucket was placed at his feet.

A bucket was placed at his feet.

Let's be honest, 70% of Congress could fold tomorrow + nobody would notice a difference w/ possible exception of increase in passed legislation.

He seems to have a weird obsession with hating the NBA...

This is ridiculous. Being in the NBA never stopped anyone from committing a crime

security footage from the Red Garter Saloon shows Benjamin Buxton bumping into Reid, and Reid headbutting Buxton in response.

"Ford was 88 years old."

"When current Nike superstars Shalane Flanagan, Will Leer, and Lopez Lomong".

[busts a nutella]

More like PutOUT, amirite!?!!1?!

The piece is called "Sausage Riot".

UNH Facilities Employee: "Mr. Weitzell, I've just found a peephole drilled through the wall of one of our basketball locker rooms!"

When police arrived at his home, Weitzell tried to hide his cellphone and refused to cooperate with officers.

Apparently, Criminal Charges plays center for UNH.

If he isn't drafted, chalk it up to the NFL's non-prophet status.

This Is What MLB's Replay System Will Look Like: