Humorless soccer fanboys descend in 5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . .

Although, he added ruefully, it's been years since he's actually gotten a whiff of Die Mannschaft.

You let them get on with it as long as the jokes are somewhat funny and not too insulting.

Williams could not taste anything ... his mother, Ozepher Fluker, said, so she advised him to go to the hospital

Among really fucked-up bridges, this one ranks right behind Todd.

He then threw those bananas at Mario Balotelli.

holy shit, I can't believe you found a photo of him actually playing!

Either way, he's still a diaper dandy.

He deserved to get spit on for filming in portrait mode.

You want to see these people's teeth?

They can investigate all they want, but they won't find any clue-wies. :/

"It's not how many kids you beat, it's how well you beat them" - Bing Crosby

I'm pretty sure America already had a program where two big guys destroyed a bunch of Japanese children.

WHY DON'T THEY ATTACK THEM ALL AT ONCE?

If those kids really wanted to win with numbers they should've taken on Americans instead.

They actually tried this in America already, only instead of soccer it was college football, instead of players it was an assistant coach, and instead of the field of play, it was a shower.

"We have a lot of money, we'll build it somehow."

I've now seen so many Gawker headline GIFs I hallucinated a tear rolling down that poor dejected Klansman's hood.

I wouldn't worry too much about the hardy Midwesterners that'll be attending this game. I'm sure they'll be heavily insulated by massive amounts of excess padding, plus whatever jackets and other clothes they'll be wearing.