I avoided the phrase as a kid simply because it would always get me assigned an adult chore, like dealing with something heavy or spot-cleaning a large area. I was just fine to finish my homework, sweep the floor, and bury my nose in a book or game, thank you very much. When I was actually bored, I’d keep it to…

This. My older screams bloody murder at the top of his lungs when his little brother hits him or takes anything from him. “NOOO! NOOOOOOO! HEEEEEELP!” It’s gotten us more than a few stares. He’ll even keep doing it when he has the item back and/or little bro is in time out.

I’ll just leave this here

My Patronus is Orpheus

I read your stuff as I entered and traversed both journalism and parenthood, and you’ve been a shining paragon to me in both. I’m not just saying that to be a kiss-ass. Get well soon, Fahey.

welp

Okay, but what about in reference to actual ninjas? I suppose we could call them Ancient Asian Assassins, or maybe Sword-Toting Spies. Feudal Free Agents? No, that’s ronin. Help me out, here.

No the fuck I won’t

Sounds to me like he tripped over the lyrics and instead of the compartmentalize part, he said something like “My n**** Elijah”. Stupid innocent screwup? Kinda. He was obviously concentrating on the game, and the lyrics half-ass fit in the song. If he listens to a lot of rap where the word is used casually, maybe, but…

I hate to straight-up endorse piracy, but this is completely true.

yo hold up is that Hakumen

I saw the image and instantly went “THAT MOTHERFUCKER”

I started with DeS, then went to DaS. I’m three hours into BB and still keep pressing triangle to trigger my weapon to switch modes.

I’m only a little ways into DS3, and I’m into poking enemies with a left-handed spear from afar to stun, then going in with the katana to really rek them. For bosses and really spongy enemies, I keep a dagger and a shield, depending on the situation. Needless to say, Bloodborne is kicking my ass right now.

I should add that the atmosphere and lore is extremely beautiful and unique. And also fuckin’ scary. My kids are 2 and 3, and they love Demons Souls and Dark Souls 1-3, but I’m not playing this one in front of them.

I’m three hours in and so far, I’ve run from a giant sewer rat, took on an entire town, lit a giant troll on fire, had a dead controller lead me to hidden treasure, and figured out that I’ll probably never have a single favorite weapon in the game. This is delicious!

For Souls veterans like me who’ve never played…

Can we throw in King’s Field? I’ll be really fuckin’ impressed if somebody no-hits an Armored Core game, though. Taking punches is pretty much an integral part of planning your builds.

Jesus Christ man he parried Gwyn

I have tons of obligations, and two toddlers. I get maybe 2 or 3 hours of game time in a good week. That makes me really glad articles like this exist, because I would have judged the game unworthy of my time within ten minutes and dumped it. Now I have something to look forward to. Thanks!

At the current level, it won’t be long until we have AI programming other AI. One semi-corrupted SSD or bad zero-day, and humanity is probably done.