Well I’m a doctor and I say if you don’t start secretly recording all your phone conversations then you’ll get cancer and die.

Cutting off dreads doesn’t change your skin color, does it?

It hit me while watching the hilarious series of penalties on the Bears in the 3rd quarter play out in person but...

Did you catch it in the air?

If MLS is going to compete on a global-level, they need to emulate all parts of the European game!

This is some Grade A+ Prime dad joking here.

So you want them to ban fan groups? I’m not even sure what the fuck your point is, person. What’s the slippery slope? Having a bunch of people showing up who hate Nazis being in the same section?

It was pretty standard “Hey, everyone check by their feet!” thing. Not his best work. I was half-expecting to get shit for it all but they just went into their next song.

I was lucky that it only once resulted in fully-fucked up glasses, and that was- embarrassingly- as a pseudo-adult and well after my glasses-catching skills were at their height. Dillinger Four show at the old Fireside Bowl. Got bumped, glasses fly, I reach for them... then get hit again. After the song finished, my…

Every scene had that dude.

Like any good nerd who used to go to punk shows, I got very good at catching my glasses in mid-air when getting shoved by overzealous attendees. That shit took lots of practice and lots of angry parental looks the next day at another bent up frame.

Apparently they can, given the literal subject of the article you’re commenting in?

Yeah, injured players don’t hit HRs at high rates!

Ah yes, that “slippery slope” where instead of family sections, MLS decides to have “ANTIFA sections” and “WE HATE AMERICA” sections. Truly something out of an Orwell novel...

The guy who, coming into this season, had 38 career homers in 1,132 plate appearances to his name.

I’m gonna get exposed to a flyover tonight and be asked to stand for the National Anthem even though I’m just there to watch a football game.

It’s-a me, a dumb Italian racist-a. (it’s a-ok, I a-have Italian friends-a)

I don’t understand why there’s still talk about reparations when we TWICE elected a black person and everyone knows that US presidents have to be unanimously elected so there’s no way that a single racist- or perhaps 60M of them- exist in this great nation when we overcome things like this and also no one ever said…

I don’t have the most experience with strip clubs but... is it common for strippers to call people “sir?” Because that’s fucking weird...

There’s a ton of “character” players that Belichick used without issue: Moss, Dillon, Blount, Meriweather, Browner...