The plot summary for the book where he brings back Captain Kirk sounds like bad fan fiction.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/…

I'm not a fan.

I just only know two languages: English and Bad English.

I have the same list. Of course, I had only been alive for around a month when Nixon resigned but it counts.

But it faces heavy competition from one that streams into your bath called PornTub.

My favorite personalized license plate belonged to a guy named Theodore. He wanted to put his name on it but could only put 7 characters.

"Trump School of Magic is the most prestigious school. Our students get wands that are made of gold and we have the hugest, classiest wall to keep out the Muggles!"

So it's a prequel?

"Fat, drunk on polyjuice, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

"My mom says I'm cool!"

Anyone want a greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?
http://youtu.be/HAnE4cYGpm8

"just wreaks of obvious cash-in"

Try a cartoon based on Lazer Tag: http://youtu.be/fgF9lPvONfw

His name was Joe Camel and he was the coolest cartoon character to hock cigarettes since the Flintstones.
http://youtu.be/NAExoSozc2c

K.A.R.R.
(Knight Automated Roving Robot)

Gives a whole new meaning to Honey Nut Cheerios.

I'm going to get "I'm your OG and I will be respected as such" framed and hang it in my cubicle.

Sometimes multiple fingers.

I had forgotten that Samuel L. Jackson was in Loaded Weapon 1: http://youtu.be/iOEgtJBjMlU

It's like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail, with a blouse full of goodies, but… it's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo… eat apple sauce through a straw… pork farm animals.