“...because that is my job as a social media influencer” is hereby the precise utterance that concludes my participation on Earth.

Her body just looks really wrong in that poster, doesn’t it? Not body shaming, I’m talking about them photoshopping her into the uncanny valley.

I feel like she’s naturalizing the body in fashion, and I love it. At the end of the day, we are all going to have our tits sexualized as women, as femmes, because people refuse to understand it’s just another physical part - so why not be comfortable?

I only like Burning Man for one good reason - it gets the techbros, hipsters and other garbage out of the Bay Area for a week so the rest of us can enjoy ourselves. Next time we should build a wall around BM to keep them there forever.

Psychopathic religious zealots

Mock all you want, but Mother Pence’s towel charms saved my marriage! My husband and I own exactly two towels and he just can’t keep track of which hook is His and which is Hers, bless his heart! Each and every day I had to wash our two towels - but at least it gave me the daily opportunity to sit atop the dryer while…

It’s how my Somali mother would pronounce the word in English.

Oh, so I post something about how I’m so racist I’d be willing to kill a baby and suddenly I’m the bad guy? Damn libruls ruining the country.

Maxine is 78. She has zero fucks left to give and she is not putting up with this shit.

You know how there’s a kid in high school that draws a cartoon of Bugs Bunny suckling from the teet of a cow, and the cow has a dollar sign on it, and then the kid is like, “MY ART IS SOCIAL COMMENTARY!”

That’s basically Banksy. It’s very surface level social commentary that feels more like the graffiti equivalent of a…

I’ve watched both The Childrens Hour and Breakfast at Tiffany’s recently. Clearly every actor and actress in those movies is in love with Audrey Hepburn on some level. Buddy Ebsen, Shirley McClaine, James Garner, George Peppard, everyone. She is the personification of lovely.

I like Audrey. She was by every account a very nice lady, was a good mom, and played her typecast character well. She hid notes in her shoes as a child for the Resistance during the war. When she aged out of her ingenue character, she took her $$$, retired to the country and devoted herself to helping children around…

Me too!

I am definitely an Audrey fangirl and would love to own these if I had an enormous fortune. Her shoes especially, since they’re the only item of her clothing I could ever conceivably wear (she was always self conscious about her big feet!)

I like you.

I fucking refuse to maintain my sanity. Do you hear me, Jezebel? I demand the leeway to go bugfuck blithering bananabonkers, start speak-shrieking in tongues, rip my clothes off, and barricade myself in the street with a fortress of boxes of old ABBA albums.

I would rather give birth to a giraffe.

Oh god, the hoverpodium /dead

Megan it’s been a real trash fire of a week both obviously for the nation and for me personally so I want to thank you for this news and the beautiful memory of how hard I sobbed with joy when a beaming Bey threw open that jacket at the VMAs.

Roin Thicke seems like he’s coated in a layer of KY he’s so slimy. That said, as a Dad, I cannot fathom that behavior and I desperately want to believe it’s not true.