And he can have a best friend named Utah! And they can take out all their pent-up homoerotic energy on Lori Petty!

Probably something with blood coming out of it’s whatever

You’ll notice the red (dress), white (skin), and blue (background) that signifies the French flag. France the country that gave us the baguette. Baguettes that get stale after a few hours. Hours, not theirs. They’re trying to steal our country.

Some of her characters (Gilly ugh) were definitely a tad annoying but I think she’s really talented. She co-wrote Bridesmaids! How can you be annoyed by someone who co-wrote Bridesmaids!!??? YOU CAN’T. Also her Björk and Lana del Ray and impressions are flawless.

I guess now I have a chance with Amber. I’m sure she’s all about unemployed middle aged lesbians. No?

Sounds about right Bethany is a really tight vagina

I’m going to have to go with Vaginas. Vicki’s empty love tank drove me crazy.

Shannon’s “trainer?” Oh yah, THIS guy:

I can’t help it, I love these shows. I think they fill the niche that soaps used to. It started out being an exposé of Coto de Caza, a gated town near where I grew up. All the worst people I knew in HS lived there, so I watched and I haven’t stopped! My job requires a lot of really long, late nights so I’ll have these…

Oh, I love it myself - it just might be hate-watching for a lot of people (who may not want to confess they love it too). I started to watch when I was stuck at home for a couple of months, after a health scare and surgery. Scary Island (RHONY S03) practically saved my (mental) life.

You hate it a bit and you’re surprised to find yourself loving it and then you hate yourself for loving it and you just keep on watching.

You know, I wouldn’t call it hate-watching on my end. I was talking to my best friend and mom about Bravo reality shows the other day, and I think the reason they work so well is because they are very much in on the joke. Every Bravo show is absurd, bizarre, hilarious, and over the top. I had a VERY stressful year…

Vagina Slims.

If Black Jesus were listening, I’m sure trainer bro would have been struck by lightning immediately.

Right? I can’t say I’d react that differently in the moment, because I’m afraid of confrontation esp. when people are mean to me personally (I’m a pro at it in defense of other people, though). But I sure as hell wouldn’t go back! And also when he asked “What does your husband think of this? Because he’s a beast and…

Skinnygirl tampons: for extra tight vaginas.

I’ve slowly weaned off all franchises, except NY. Fucking Luann is a goddamn treasure.

It’s only a matter of time before Bethenny Frankel figures out a way to brand feminine hygiene products with the Skinnygirl logo.

A little of both, tbh. It’s total trash, but somehow satisfying in how fucking ridiculous it is? Also, and I’ll admit it, I think part of me enjoys it because I’m secretly a complete gossip whore and it scratches that itch since I don’t actually gossip about people in my real life aside from the normal dishing with my…

BrandiGlands style of gutter melodrama is why I was Team LeAnn straight outta the gate.