I’m curious: how long does it take to cook rice? Because I cook it on the stovetop and it takes 20 minutes.

“In referencing the one who invited me, I used an exaggerated expression of regard, and any attempt to turn this into a negative connotation is ridiculous.”

YOU DEFINITELY WIN! That is the best one. 

Let’s not forget Dennis Feinstein.

“It’s the most beautiful duck,” added Barrett. “Probably in the world.”

Hannah, the Zayn link leads to the Brangelina story. (And now everyone knows what I click.)

I mean, rigatoni seems generous.

Good.

Ted’s waiting for Heidi to play “Find the Soup.”

Well crap. For the longest time this was the only place I was ungreyed. I got ungreyed on Jez and re-greyed on Splinter. The GMG giveth; the GMG taketh away.

Don’t forget the forced abortions. 

It worked! Thank you so much! I would have never asked for myself. 

Thank you for the un-greying! I had resigned myself to ever-grey. 

WHAT??? Amazing! And soooo fucking cool!

OMG! Thank you! I appreciate this so much.

He’s The King in the North, Original Flavor!

And seriously, those white ladies are who Oprah needs to be targeting here.

Oh right, this is stuffy Washington who don’t want sleeveless dresses on women (“she’s showing upper arm! Harlot! Temptress!”)

I only like the minis. They have the chocolate/peanut butter ration just right. And I eat them all.