This interview was definitely a "We've got them both right where we want them, now release the bears!" moment.

You know what I love about that authentic train collision? The audience.

Somebody's gonna pay for this

You took a major spill and owned up to it with class. Essentially, you are the complete opposite of British Petroleum. Kudos.

As the chick in this video, all I can say is that running in powder when there's no one else out at night is a shitload of fun. But stopping to pose for the local news station in the middle of the icy street hurts like a bitch. Glad it's as funny for everyone else as it was for us.

"the entire time you're thinking: no way. No way this actually happens. It can't."

I can't imagine running under those conditions. I mean, with a girl?

"Hey, good-looking. Ever had sex with a puppet before?"

Russian Security Officer: "What is wrong with eye?"

Unretouched pigeon photo.

2+ million apiece? If only I was nine again.

I know what it means. I just want CorrectionDetection to think he's (she's?) smart and giving me the what-for. It's a thing I like to do for the dumbs.

You clearly do not understand just how sexy a living starfish can be.