I suspect he thinks AI = Albert (E)Instein

“R. Kelly is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”

And here, as ever, my disgust is not so much with the hilarious cartoon villain or his group of laughably insecure henchmen, but rather with the greater population of American voters.

I was sexually attracted to a statue of Grover Cleveland on two non-consecutive occasions. 

Mmmmmm. Heartwarming bacon.

Ah, yes, hockey. The safest and least violent of sports.

I applaud your quick thinking. Have you reached out to the arena to get a refund for your tickets?

I had something similar happen.

Out of curiosity, what does a Delta Embraer 175 taking off from LAX have to do with Unum from TN?

Comments like this always make me think of the game Arkham Asylum where the Riddler tells a riddle where the answer involves chopping off the limbs of a baby. When asked how he could say such a terrible thing his answer was “It’s not my baby.”

Maroon 5 is “funk rock?”

“How to be Old, White and Terrified: A Manual”

Build a wall at the three point line and make Golden State pay for it. Shut down the NBA until they agree to do so.

Kamala Harris graduated from Howard University and is an AKA. How much blacker do you want her to be? You are never ever going to agree with all the positions any candidate has. They all have baggage. Pick the best one for you and move on.

What really grinds is that, even if you turn up with $0.5M, there’s this rust proofing that they put on at the factory, there’s nothing they can do about it...

What, you don’t enter your PIN number into LCD display on the ATM machine?

Welp, Clayton Bigsby isn’t real.

Wah wah wah… In 1992, Julius Erving stole my fax machine and then proceeded to give me an unscheduled colonoscopy.  Later I was told he wasn’t even a real doctor, but you don’t hear me whining about it.

You’re still operating under the premise that a meaningful percentage of any of the border/immigration “problems”, are caused by people simply walking or driving across open, unguarded sections of the border. It’s simply not true. The vast, vast, majority of drugs, illegal immigrants, human trafficking, smuggling of…

Wait till he finds out that the guy fucked his mom too.