Seriously, I’m serious about this, I am being totally serious: if someone will venture fund me a couple million dollars, I will start a company that develops chips that shock the living fuck out of anyone who tries to take video with their phone in portrait mode.

He did visit them in the hospital — and demanded that they drop down and give him 20.

there is a big offer from China

+1 Mouse

Your Spanish skills are as good as Steven Seagal’s.

I remember his name. I just didn’t want to give him one more ounce of attention. He’s not worth it.

tell that to vanilla ice

eh, if you hack the account before the 3rd inning or after the 7th no dodgers fan is ever gonna notice anyway

She should have just punched someone the fuck out. Only would have had to redshirt a season.

Good god. What’s the big fucking deal. It’s just a finger.

Well, I mean, this wasn’t a minor offense that you wouldn’t want to ruin an athlete’s life over, like punching a woman in the face or raping them.

Camera Man: “Hey, what are you doing over there?!”
Redshirt: “Uhhh, nutting.”

Hey, I know people keep calling this guy Elite, but he gets into all sorts of trouble when he gets out of the pocket.

Finally, a Chargers game with a fappy ending.

The bigger deal is that no Rangers came to destroy Eakin or defend the ringless king.

What the hell NY? That’s HENRIK LUNDQVIST. Why isn’t anyone out to wreck Eakin’s shit after that? I tried to leave my couch to fight that guy, and I haven’t been in a fight since the great maple syrup heist of ‘13. That is, no joke, an appalling disgrace.

“Let those without sen[se] throw the first banana.”

This makes sense if you convert the 18 yards to Canadian.

I believe this man is wearing Chuck Klosterman’s scalp on his head.

Hmmm ... actually, Ric Flair was the greatest champion of all time.