Charlie Jane, I agree with your rules. But Kinja makes it really hard to peruse a heavily commented post and determine if somebody has already made the same comment. Even excluding the whole "Show Pending" thing.

Hey, hey, hey — don't be mean. We don't have to be mean. 'Cause, remember: no matter where you go… there you are.

Goofball?! Laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy.

My dad hand-built an computer running CP/M on 8" floppies. To run my Pascal programs for my computer-programming class, I had to go to a store in the suburbs to buy a 300-baud acoustic-coupling modem so I could upload the code to the University's mainframe computer. This modem later became the gateway to the net,…

I'll let you know when I can finally connect to Prodigy. I keep getting a busy signal

My internet:

My first experience with the internet was S A I L O R, "Maryland's Online Public Information Network," which you accessed from libraries. It was text-only if I recall correctly, but it was still amazing to me at the time. We later got dial-up internet from Errol's, but I think that's too recent for what you are asking.

I actually thought the title was "Sharknado 3: Has This Joke Run Its Course Yet?" for a second. Some brief googling made me sad.

Well, technically the correct answer would be The Silmarillion.