Timothy Olyphant’s new melty wax face thinks he looks just fine.

Same. I’ve got a 4-yr old boy who’s suuuuuper into the DCAU and to him, the current version of DC Universe is like the best thing in the entire actual universe.

It also includes a line where Herzog says (and I am sure I’m misquoting) “Eat your fingers if you want to live.” And my wife and I still say this to each other, in our best worst Herzog voice, under our breaths. At least once a month, minimum, for both of us.

Oh my god, how did I not know I needed a “super curly-haired Robert DeNiro” in my life? I am getting “Sean Penn in Carlito’s Way”-level tingles right now.

Same with Clooney. I remember seeing him with Grant Heslov around the CBS Radford lot and it was like someone put a sculpture of “George Clooney’s Head” on the body of a 12-year old dancer.

The camera also adds 20lbs. I worked at Sony (SPE, the movin’ pitchers division) off and on for three years and remember seeing Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone around the lot.  They looked like lollipops.

Sorry, but it’s reaaaaaaal hard to square the message on that mask with the logo on her head.

To wit: Any and every single thing Nike does media-wise is for show. Regardless of who their creative directors/social media managers/paid athlete shills are, or what they believe, the truth is that native Oregonian Phil…

That trailer was scored to a Nancy Sinatra song.

C’mon, the first Jack Reacher had Werner Herzog as a former gulag prisoner telling Just-Fucked-Up Henchman “If you want to live, you must eat your fingers.”

Wait, is no one going to point out the picture of Damon at the top of the post and ask the real question here, When did Matt Damon turn into one of the Golden Girls?

Thank you for saying what we’re all thinking. The legacy of Mama’s Family is the #1 reason The Carol Burnett Show doesn’t get the respect it deserves.

When I saw this, I had flashbacks to attending a preview screening of Gentleman Broncos. I’d hoped to like it but afterwards I wanted to scream at the creators “Laughing at hateful losers isn’t comedy. Neither are random 1980’s fashion or mean-spirited scenes between affectless stereotypes.”

That was a highlight for me, and my wife’s absolute favorite part. Her exact words were “I’ve loved ice slides since Spiderman & His Amazing Friends!”

I agree. I think it’s a specialty eyepatch that fits into his helmet’s “eyepatch slot.”

Ayup. And if you read Marv Wolfman’s original NTT backstory for him, that subtext is made pretty fucking text. I have *always* considered Slade Wilson to be DC’s answer to Steve Rogers.

Word.

Thanos is a ripoff of Darkseid
Deadpool is a ripoff of Deathstroke
X-Men is a ripoff of Doom Patrol

the list goes on...

Yeah, not to pile on but this man was the driving force behind the Young Fresh Fellows and should be noted as such.

I’m getting a real To Die For vibe from this. Which is not a bad thing, not a bad thing at all.

Then you’ll be thrilled to know he did. Like, four weeks ago, as clearly as you could possibly want. To the New York Times.

It’s not even an Urban Legend; Millar wrote it tongue-in-cheek and sent it to Ain’t It Cool News to be published on April 1st.

 It was, literally, an April Fool’s Day prank that the site played on its readers, coming clean a day later.