The Pontiac Aztek was a better GM than Doc Rivers.

I liked Sami Zayn’s stories:

I don't know all the ins and outs but I bet this network failed partially because the Astros deliberately put a shitty team on the field resulting in an even shittier product that, surprisingly, no one wanted to watch. Fuck them.

Because the title “Cool Story, Bro!: My Vacation in Havana” was apparently already taken.

Hot take? That’s just solid logic.

Did everyone else read this comment in Towley’s voice?

Big props to them. They obviously knew they had no right to be in that competition, other than their country needed someone to represent. Seems they just went and had a good time. Not easy to block the rest out. Good job, dudes.

MLB: Now 5% Faster! You’re Welcome, Millennials!!

I was watching this shit on TV, and at no point over the course of the entire chase did he drive any faster than 10mph. He had “Victory Parade” on the side of his car, and was waving and soluting people as he drove past like he was the damn grand marshall of his parade. How the cops considered this a chase and let it…

Mouton also tells a similar story of when he sacked Tom Brady, and Brady told him he would, “Knock the wind out of him.”

*Checks site URL*

Shocking that a guy who used the #1 overall pick on David Carr would be unprepared for NFL Draft talk.

There is nothing wrong with that slide. That is a baseball play. It’s what runners ought to do. He did not go away from being able to touch the base and it’s therefore legal. Playing a middle infield position assumes that risk of contact.

As an O’s fan, we’re now going to turn our backs on the umpires.

Never understood this rule. If you can’t land in the field of play, it should be a home run. How can an umpire see that he didn’t drop it on the other side of the fence?

I can't believe you actually fell for ol' fluoride treatment gag. On the plus side, now you know semen gives you a stomach ache.

Welcome to Kinja, Mr. McMahon.

The awarding of the penalty was dodgy. It looks like the Montenegrin defender got to the ball first before taking out the Russian attacker. So...ball don't lie?

Officials didn't have enough to charge Wells with rape, so they settled for inappropriate Huggins.

Okay, honesty time: How many of us would actually pull over and stop on the freeway for a black Monte Carlo with no police badging and tiny police-looking lights that's running you off the road in a very unprofessional way? I know I wouldn't. I would get the fuck out of there, and if he kept pursuing, I would pull…