Kobe went on to say, "I would go to jail before I would go to bed without satisfying my urges. Doing that would mean that I would beat myself, that I accepted 'No' for an answer, because if you keep trying you'll either get a 'Yes' or you'll get to the right true end anyway."

Did you not watch the fights? The judge was completely batshit, and his scoring was indefensible. Framing this as "Dana White has a sketchy amount of power" instead of "the Mafia tried to fix a card in Macau but only succeeded in fixing the first two fights" is nuts.

This would be me.

Report: Mark Sanchez Would Rather Sit on His Ass Than Cram His Face Into One

a person with knowledge of Sanchez's thinking

"WOULD LOVE A CALL FROM THE RAMIS!"

Those kids have brought so much honor to the Kim family...too bad they're from the south.

And just when things were going so well for the city of St. Louis.

Great, those libs successfully got that horribly racist name 'Redman' removed from the NFL. Hope they're happy now.

I laughed when he said "Coach Tomlin, this is Snoop Dogg." I guess he just wanted to eliminate any doubt in Tomlin's mind as to who this sage advice was come from.

As an Air Force guy stationed at an Army base, I can say this place has the nicest on-base golf course I have drank on.

And I know then and to this day, that coach loved us. So, it's not abusive.

Cannavale. The actor not the cruise line.

Rushing had to get a new jersey number when he returned; the equipment manager told him he had to "earn it back."

"I went to a leper colony one time, but those little bastards had no gold and definitely no rainbows."

Later, on NFL Live, Mike Ditka added that Rushing should just tough it out. "I have severe brain damage and don't know where I am for most of the day, but you don't see me complaining."

If you're a guy who gets hurt easily, you need to find another activity where there's not contact involved."

I don't know what's worse. Chris Rock's half-hearted catch or that Johnny Manziel is sitting right behind him taking the day off training camp.

Of course, I could be wrong - all white people all look alike to me.

Announcer: Well that was a nice thing of Chris Rock to do, giving the ball to a little kid. That's something black people do, whereas ni- (cut mic, cue commercial break)

He figured he might as well give the ball up before Dane Cook stole that from him too.