A five minute ESPN segment with no mention of Johnny Football? Miracles do happen.

This. I legit remember in the 1990s when they used to report on sports instead of just fox-news it and create fake "controversies" that aren't really controversies outside ESPN. Fuck em' Haven't watched that shit in years.

it means 1 of two things:

Just another reason for increased border security...

It's Tanner!

Well there's there's one other reason: He's stupid.

Great poker face, guys.

I know! When you're 7 it's all fun and games, but when you're 30 it's "trespassing" and "a crime".

So what did the other 3 people say?

Perhaps it was cute from a distance but she was running from player to player saying, "my mom says that one of you is my daddy but she can't know which one...I want a daddy!!"

see, this is what happens when you vaccinate your children

I was waiting for her to get mauled by a lion, Naked Gun-style.

Why no clip of the nine little girls on the field again yesterday in Boston?

Terry Tate is timeless.

When asked what he was thinking in letting her out there, the child's guardian Chris 'Birdman' Andersen told police, "Hey man, there was grass on the field, she wanted to play."

She should count her blessings that this didn't happen in Philly. She probably should have been tased. Now all of the other little kids watching are going to think it's OK and start running onto the field all willy nilly and such.

This is what parenting is all about: Getting your kid to do stuff that you want to do, but can't get away with doing yourself. She's not gonna get body-slammed and arrested. Deadspin won't even call her an idiot.

I keep waiting for Terry Tate, office linebacker, to come out of nowhere and form tackle destroy her.

It's a great throw, but nothing will ever beat the time Dave Dravecky tried to pitch like this from the mound.

If you are what you eat then it appears that Lou Piniella is everything.