I’ve told this one pretty recently on another thread, but I still love it.

A lot of these stories have made me laugh out loud. I haven’t laughed a lot this year, so I consider this thread to be very positive. None of these posts are mean spirited.

It was a white elephant gift exchange with my husband’s family. I picked the safest gift- a liquor bottle, nicely wrapped. I unwrapped it to find it was a whiskey bottle, but emptied and filled with water and a beta fish. We welcomed Jack Daniels to our family and he lived happily for 4 years.

I worked at the corporate office of a fairly large company at the time. For our holiday party, which included our partners, we chose names in order to participate in the “White Elephant” gift exchange. I happened to choose someone I thought was pretty fun and funny. For her gift, I gave her a beautifully wrapped,…

Once upon a time, my best friend (a guy, completely platonic) got married. Then I got a real, grown up job. These unrelated events found me trying to catch up to years of generous gift giving from a guy who had a real grown up job for a lot longer. (He got me my first vibrator, which I know seems to make it seem not…

I’m not proud, but this is anonymous so...

If I had a quarter for every white suburban woman who claimed that her kids were almost kidnapped/trafficked while shopping I’d be a very wealthy woman.

In reality, no one wants your kids.  They’re brats.

I hate Precious Moments and am afraid of clowns.  So what did an aunt give me? Precious moments clown. 

I wanted to Harriet so bad when I was a kid, I borrowed the book from the library 10 times. And sat in the gutter of my house, 20 feet above the ground, spying on my neighbours, untill my mom ordered me down.

There is NO WAY they are as expensive as children.  Even horses aren’t.  At least not children not in k-12 school.  I could have two show horses kept in modern luxury for the cost of 8 months of school tuition for a private preschool.  And that’s in an “affordable” area.

My daughter’s 11th grade history class took a huge test, and the average grade was something in the 40's. She got an 85. The teacher told the class that they’d have to write a “blah blah word essay” on the material. My kid informed him that collective punishment was considered a War Crime under the Geneva…

It wasn’t detention, but I once defied sixth grade authority.

Ooh, my first time being selected/highlighted! Very exciting.

In our school you could skip the first day of hunting season. 

I gained a lot of respect for Dolly after seeing Ken Burn’s Country Music. She’s the real deal.

It’s Dolly Parton, it’s a joke, she doesn’t take herself very seriously. This is one of many reasons people should be more like Dolly Parton.

Dolly deserves the Presidential Medal of Freedom and I cannot wait for 46 to rectify this injustice. 

I bet if anyone wants to scroll down far enough, they’ll see a 7 year old comment from me, agreeing with all of this. To say Love, Actually is a steaming pile of shit would be an insult to steaming piles of shit. Except for Emma Thompson’s performance, which is marvelous. 

I love this piece. Spot on. It makes me really embarrassed that Curtis' fluffy, soulless renditions of Englishness are lapped up by the masses. I'm English and none of this creepy disingenuousness is even mildly accurate or familiar, (not that we can't be creepy and disingenuous, we totally can and sometimes we are,…

It is pretty great as a "Hey, it's that guy!" movie. The woman Bilbo Baggins is pretending to have sex for a film with? Joanna Page, who's just finished marrying David Tennant as Queen Elizabeth I on Doctor Who.