Today in headline missed opportunities:

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. He likes to retweet posts by Scott Adams and Mike Cernovich. But like anything Rubin does, it’s a mystery why.

Will it include his left-field jaunts into alt-right crazytown?

I do that Goodreads challenge as well. My goal every year is 12. I think my best year was 18.

That’s on my list as soon as I finish the book I’m reading now. The first two books were great. The way Arden blends fairytale creatures with religious figures is very reminiscent of Neil Gamain’s work.

7 out of 10. Would hate fuck.

Yes, we’re really doing that thing where scary stuff is subjective.

Ahhh yes, a floating cosmic turtle that appears near the very end of a 1,000 page novel is the highlight of IT, not the psychopathic clown that terrorizes children.

For a limited time only, add a telephone line with unlimited nationwide calling for just $9.95 more per month!

Another one to add to your First Person list: I Hate Models.

Ross From Friends and DJ Seinfeld both played at Primavera Sound Festival last summer. On Thursday night. Not even kidding.

The Passage trilogy is actually pretty good, if not a bit derivative of Stephen King. But based on everything they’ve released so far, it looks like they’ve royally fucked the source material for the show.

I’m looking forward to ‘A Dog’s Porpoise.’

Honestly, what they’ve done to both John Constantine and Lucifer is why I’m fine that a Sandman show or movie never gets made.

Oh, I didn’t know it had already shown. Did it air in the UK before it comes to the States?

I read A Discovery of Witches a few years ago, and it is another embarrassingly awful entry in the romantic wish-fulfillment vampire genre. The bloodsucking boyfriend is yet another rich asshole who treats women like shit, and the female lead is a pathetic excuse for a doormat, but without the excuse of being a…

Why did they set Depeche Mode’s Violator cover on fire?

Chromatics and Tool ... those are both definitely gonna come out this year for sure.

The annual Coachella poster is how I gauge my hipness, and I usually know at least all of the artists through the second line. Insert stevebuscemi gif.