He’s so little.

Yep, just read that the second one was a retaliatory rear end.

I bet Drake liked the work they did in brothel better than the locker room. More kids his age and some new body parts to check out.

I worked in a Thai brothel a few years ago and there were kids around all of the time. Maybe he needs to make that a full time gig.

“Witnesses told police and media that Smith’s Mercedes was rear-ended by Hayes’s Hummer”

Carlos Gomez breaks unwritten rules of baseball by kicking down walls of unopened doors only to find Goose Gossage behind it sitting on a footstool gnawing on a Levi Garret plug and feverishly beating his meat to a thirteen inch black and white tv running VHS footage of 1970s MLB pitchers beaning batters while his…

You need to either get the fuck out of Warroad or get a job at Marvin.

That’s only half a tooth. A hockey player would have at least pulled the rest of it out himself and finished the shift or would have just had the whole tooth knocked out in the first place like a man.

The looks on their face when the tag is attempted and he Puig switches hads is priceless. It’s like an intense game of Rochambeau.

That’s dirty pool. A pure cheap shot. If Dick Vitale’s voice is on the video, you need to give some sort of warning or disclaimer. You just ruined my six year streak of avoiding that irritating bastard.

I’ll make a shoehorn outta your shin / I’ll make a lampshade of durable skin / And, oh, don’t you know that I’m always feelin’ able / When I’m sittin’ home and I’m carving out your navel?

Have you ever taken a 110 mph line drive to the junk? I didn’t think so. Now image a 110 mph line drive ricocheted off of a kid’s head two seats down from you? You are not going to have time to protect your face and the junk at the same time. Plus kid’s bones are soft and therefor it will produce more spin on the ball…

I’ll go with the socks with painted on stirrups, Jose Canseco style. And a cup... I can’t forget the cup cuz, you know, safety. If one of those foul balls comes screaming down the line and my dad reflexes don’t get the glove down in time, at least Barney and Rubble won’t take a direct hit.

I’m heading to the game today. If I wear my team’s jersey and baseball pants, then can I bring my glove?

Who the fuck puts a tat of Bob Denver on their head? If you are going to do that you should include the Gilligan hat too.

“Uh oh” “No no” “Uh oh” “No no” “Uh oh” “Oh no”

So he’s going with the Trump defense that “he started it” and his client was only the shooter? WHAT THE FUCK?

You really don’t know how great Gretzky was, do you? Comparing anyone to Gretzky is complete sacrilege. He is the all-time NHL points leader with 2800+ points in less than 1500 games. Jamir Jagr will likely surpass Mark Messier for second all-time next year with 1900+ in 1700 games if he plays the full season! Gretzky…

Judging from the photo, he used the uncoordinated Oomp Loompa defense as his trump card.