Try not living on Twitter or the internet in general. It helps.

Yea, also, if you’re gonna get all high and mighty about teaching kids that trump is bad, why give him a cute and affectionate nickname like “Plump?” That’s not even negative unless you hate fat people. 

I hope all of the pressure on Mueller doesn’t completely trash his life. The man has countless numbers of people putting everything they believe in him and if he doesn’t not only bring Trump and his entire team down, but bring enough to the table to get them all hung at dawn, I feel as if he’s going to experience hell…

You see fit people are heroes and fat people are bad guys. I am sure Plump (Trump) is going to be some jabba looking sob(he is). Problem is that isnt a lesson to teach a kid.

I too am a fellow fit person. I fit into 2xl shirts, husky pants, size 48 jackets, most barrels...

The Daily Beast Tweet....brilliant.

Trust me, as a fellow fit person, everything is just a long con to be able to post pictures of yourself without a shirt on.

I had never heard of them until now, so I guess they got what they wanted.

Oh COME ON. The guy is 6-47 with a .312 OPS and two measly RBI. Pathetic!

Lowercase letters on a baseball uniform are an affront to God, much like the very existence of the Mets themselves.

The tournament schedule didn’t cause his match to start around midnight, so much as

counterpoint: whale blubber (esp in akutaq) is fuckin tasty as HELL

Obligatory. (Why is the original an mp4?...i swear...)

I take back every bad thought, word, emotion, post, comment, Tweet, ‘gram, bathroom graffiti, Craigslist ad, and voicemail that I have ever made about Drew Magary if he bankrupts Univision on the way out the chute. 

Couple theories: 1. The pizza was purchased before they scored the blow. Notice it’s not been touched. 2. He’s not into blow, but she is. Notice she’s the one chopping the lines. He’s got the blunt, which naturally leads to pizza.

You usually eat about once per 24 hours. This is probably it.

You do it often enough you adapt and maintain an appetite.

Except in the video above. Or at every strip club buffet lunch ever. And Rob Ford’s funeral after party. And everywhere Rib Ford ever went ever.

This just in — Odell Beckham is 25 years old and very rich.

Yet again, no invite for Eli...