The Chicago Blackhawks have announced that Brian Bickell will officially retire in a pregame ceremony for every remaining game of the season.

“You may have humiliated us again, but at least we didn’t lose 10-1 to the Blackhawks”

After 6 goals, I was like:

You are definitely a bigger asshole than the guy who wished your team luck this year.

Hey found the asshole! Tell me, does your wife still fit into her Jerome Bettis game-worn jersey or has she had to upgrade to left tackle yet?

You should feel like the Predators lost the Stanley Cup and the Penguins won it. Good luck this year though

As a Preds fan, how should I feel about this resulHAHAHAHAHAH FUCK YOU PITTSBURGH

And collapse to this same Penguins team, I might add, because God hates the Caps.

I could listen to that announcer all day. Just something about the way he says “HE SCAAARRRRRRRS!” is just.. just fantastic.

Some will say that the Pens are just tired from winning back to back Stanley Cups and that they had just played the night before, which is why they didn’t look like themselves last night. Others will say AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHfuckyou

I do feel a little bit bad about murdering Niemi like that. 4 goals in 3 minute isn’t just his fault and that Pens defense wasn’t doing him any favors.

I bought a Saad t-shirt for $5 two years ago just after he left, and a Sharp jersey at $40 just after he left.

God it’s good to have that back.

I’ll nurture this feeling to have around for when the Caps eventually collapse.

Brandon Saad had a hat trick in his Blackhawk re-debut

Specifically, football leagues.

To be fair, Trump is definitely an expert on businesses going to hell.

Yes you can! Yes you can hold it in! I routinely don’t shit myself -it’s been years, man - and I eat all kinds of stuff, ranging from very healthy to very unhealthy. That was the whole point: you can hold it in if you’re not in the midst of a four-hour run. Running is the only activity that people engage in…

When I was 10 I clogged the employee toilet at OshKosh B’Gosh. I wasn’t running or anything, I just like telling that story. Poop got on the floor.