*googles “genital painting”. Not disappointed.*

How you doin'?

pose on all fours while others who are fully nude ride on your back; ride on someone’s back while you are both fully nude;

Except no kitty deaths, OK?

Of course her last name is Fisher.

but

Not gonna lie, this one hurts.

What the actual fucking shit is this, even? The Pope isn’t even sorted into the same House as whatever bullshit sect Kim Davis belongs to. She’s a fame-whore whose 15 minutes are really dragging out.

I have to warn you though, those are only available in a thong.

But the story gets worse,

This gif made me laugh until I cried. Thank you!

NeverMindEdith is a penis professional

this makes me feel better about stealing a pirate eye patch from there when i was a teen. so ~rebellious~

I really want to have an As I Lay Dying wedding. Every guest could bring some wood and we’ll make a coffin as a demonstration of bringing our families together. We could could ‘cement’ our love for each other by having our limbs set in concrete. We’ll serve fish. It’ll be BRILLIANT. No one will ever ask me to pay for…

I think it's also, like, the social media/reality TV effect. I'm about to go full old lady on you: I think that more than wanting to create memories, these are people who want to document their starring role. I don't think there's anything sentimental or genuine about it. I think it's an ode to the ego.

let’s just call it what it is: rich person LARPing. My little brother got married recently and the wedding was “Gatsby-inspired” even though he and his bride are scraping by. Gatsby-inspired, indeed.

Prepare thyselves for end times, readers, because the devil has returned and will soon set the world ablaze with eternal hellfire in which all of humanity shall suffer unholy, tortuous pain lasting for infinity.

The expression on that butterfly, though.

This is truly the most terrible thing I’ve ever seen being a) sold for money, b) not on Etsy.