He’ll come out behind a certain and yell "YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D EARTH!" while the nuclear bombs are in midair

Wouldn’t it be wild if this whole “Trump presidency” thing was just one long episode of the country being Punk’d?

It’s because he has all his emails printed and then read to him before signing the ones he likes, so he assumes everyone else does too. He fully thinks there’s a physical binder of 30,000 pages of emails out there somewhere (in Ukraine now!) that’s the smoking gun that will finally take down Clinton.

I hate that I…

As far as I’m concerned, whiskey and coke is part of balanced breakfast.

As far as I’m concerned, he’s no longer the president. 

2016 is the gift that keeps on giving... me nightmares. 

Again it got better. 

We know, Zelensky. We want out of this nightmare too. 

3 fucking years later, and he’s still going on about the fucking emails.

His face does have a very Bleuthian expression of defeat on it.

“Hello darkness my old friend . . ."

Wait . . . Did he ACTUALLY say he thinks Clinton’s Emails might be in the Ukraine?!?!? That’s fucking SNL shit right there!

“Hey, I know Putin invaded your country and Russia has a longstanding beef with Ukraine that goes back to the Crimean War, and beyond, along with a lot of ethnic tensions that remain unresolved! You know, sort of like our own Eastern European Israel - but, you know, talk it out, buddy! It’s not like Putin’s famous for…

I should have stayed in bed this morning.

What’s most amazing in all of this, even beyond the obvious attempt at extortion by Trump is the moment where you realize that he has no freaking clue about any of the history between Russia and the Ukraine. The president of the United States lacks awareness about something that most really dumb adults already know 

“Jack, can you come into the kitchen please....What did my husband just say to you about the potato skins? TELL ME NOW.”

“Hey man, I just wanted to watch the Super Bowl...”

I mean, if he and Pence are removed from office, she becomes president, so she’s no longer speaker of the house.

“As far as I am concerned, she is no longer Speaker of the House.”

America is like that messy couple that somehow brings every person that happens to cross their path into their twisted ongoing feuds.