YOGA NERD IS A FAKE DOCTOR

Duh.

WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH. woah. WOAH. I mean NSYNC is obviously bad as are their misguided tone-deaf fans, but as a BSB fan I must say:

I’d rather get a multi-million dollar salary than a cover photo, which is what the male players will take comfort in.

You issue a press release stating that you ordered a large, but took a small for the good of the country

My running buddy is always complaining that his nose is too big. I always tell him it fits his face. (I’d say he’ll grow into it, but he’s 44. I think he’s done growing.) To that end, I’m sure your head fits your body wonderfully. :)

the number of people who loudly declare, on a daily basis, “WHO CARES ABOUT KIM KARDASHIAN!??!?” make me love her and hope she’s in the news forever

It’s been a long time coming, but I’m gonna go ahead and come out with it: I actually kind of love Kim Kardashian.

I posted a couple of weeks ago about the tattoo I was getting...now I want to show it off! This is just Phase 1, I have a few more sittings until it’s done, but I’m obsessed.

“For my report on North Carolina, I’m going to take my shirt off and twirl it round my head like a helicopter”

Back in the 80s, a friend from college invited me to be her bridesmaid. We lived hundreds of miles from each other, and had only exchanged brief letters in the years since graduation. I shouldn’t have accepted, but I thought it would be fun to see her and the people we used to hang out with.

THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE.

why the fuck are you like, double, triple and quadrupling down on being a bitch?

We do? Im natural blonde and you can’t see my eyebrows if I dont fill them in. Meaning I dont have to pluck them either

lolololololol

The scariest people I have ever interacted with have and will always be fucking drunk, affluent white men.

Does it count if you didn’t fully realize it was awful?

I was about five years old. My mother decides to load four of us kids in the van and take us from Washington State to California, to go to my mom’s cousin’s wedding. While there, we were also going to visit her siblings and go to Disneyland and all sorts of fun…

Ray J also had his Top 8 in Kim.

Maybe this will help break the spell :

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.