These two guys are both the absolute worst in their own special way, but The Douche Award goes to Shawn. That guy has serious anger issues, and Kaitlyn should run as fast as she can. I wouldn’t be surprised if he is in the back of a cop car in short order. Nick is just a garden variety faux-sensitive douchebag.

Gavin and Gwen have been together since like 1995 though.

I JUST SAID THE SAME THING.

He makes me feel funny in my pants.

My friend has an intern right now who was born in 1995. She has never seen an episode of Seinfeld.

tbh this is one of the most interesting seasons so far, by which I mean its a total shitshow and a hot mess. Kaitlyn made things very complicated for herself. It’s not like SEX IS BAD but everyone knows the unspoken rule of Bachelor is No Boning Before Fantasy Suites!

I stood up when he started singing. At my desk. And I almost raised my hands in the air. I wanted to re-baptize myself.

Mine too. I had a bottle of it for a long time and used to spray it on myself until I got made fun of in middle school for wearing old lady perfume. She had just died that past summer (heart attack, I was the one who found her). So I sprayed it on my pillow and stuffed animals instead.

My nightmare boss asked me to print this article for her. So.

My only shield is what has been communicated to me as my “NOT FUCKING INTERESTED DO NOT SPEAK TO ME” resting bitchface, which apparently is potent. It does not always work, but sometimes, it really really does. Being married just made dudes catcall me more, for some reason. And I got hit on fucking constantly as soon…

Being real though that dude doesn’t really look like Gosling at all. He just has the clothes and the hairdo.

TIM RIGGINS FOREVER.

This is now my favorite story.

One of the many, many reasons I do not associate with my narcissistic psychopath of a mother anymore is that going out to eat consistently turned into a Circus of Humiliation, with her as the fucking Ringleader. I started to realize she got off on torturing waiters and I could No Long Even With That.

I wouldn’t necessarily mind people being nosy and curious if they weren’t so fucking judgmental about it.

HERO DOGGIE FTW. Look at that face.

I think what Huckabee is missing is that “child molestation is bad” is pretty much the only statement both liberals and conservatives agree on.

The $50 PetFusion cardboard scratcher thing is literally the best money I have ever spent. It has stopped my cats from scratching me/the furniture/the carpet/each other. Plus they love to nap on it. We have two. Meaning I spent $100 on fucking cardboard for these assholes.

I was fine until I saw my husband standing there waiting for me, and then I lost it. Thank god for waterproof mascara! I got through my vows but I was very shaky.